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CIRCUMCI 3'2m0f Two teenagers witness Jesus' circumcision

GARTH -- (half whisper) You're gonna get us into trouble, Wayne.

WAYNE -- (half whisper) It'll be a piece of cake, Garth.

GARTH -- But Gentiles are not allowed in this part of the 
temple, Wayne.

WAYNE -- Trust me, I know what I'm doing, Garth. If we just look 
like we know what we're doing, nobody will say nothin'.

GARTH -- Wayne, all the men are wearing those little tiny hats. 
We'd better find some hats.

WAYNE -- They're called yamulkas, Garth. 

GARTH -- How do you know?

WAYNE -- (afar) I know all kinds of stuff. Here's a box a full 
of yamulkas! See, I told you. There's nothing to worry about.

GARTH -- How do I look in my new yamulka, Wayne?

WAYNE -- Like a dork. (chuckle)

(footsteps)

GARTH -- (whispers) Shshshsh. Somebody is coming.

WAYNE -- (whispers) It's okay, just act natural. Follow my lead. 
(aloud) So, I was saying to the rabbi, rabbi, I said...

GARTH -- I didn't know you knew a rabbi, Wayne. (thud) What are 
you hittin' me for? Why do you have to hit me in the shoulder 
all the time?

(footsteps fade)

WAYNE -- You are such a dork, Garth. Okay, he's gone. Follow me.

GARTH -- I still don't know what we're doing here, Wayne. And I 
don't think you know either.

WAYNE -- Yes, I do. We're here for the circumcision of the Christ 
child.

GARTH -- Oh! The circumcision! Well, why didn't you say so? 
(pause) Wayne?

WAYNE -- Yeah.

GARTH -- What's a circumcision?

WAYNE -- It's a thing they do eight days after he's born.

GARTH -- Oh! (pause) Wayne?

WAYNE -- Yeah. 

GARTH -- What thing do they do?

WAYNE -- You know the Jewish ceremony. And one thing I'm sure 
about is that the circumcision of Jesus will undoubtedly make it 
into the Bible. And I want to be able to tell the guys back home 
that we saw it.

GARTH -- So, what is a circumcision, Wayne? I'm not gonna have 
to sing, am I? Because I don't sing so good.

WAYNE -- Naw, if they sing. You just move your mouth. Nobody 
will know.

GARTH -- What if everybody has to get up and read from the 
scroll, Wayne? I don't know how to read Hebrew.

WAYNE -- Don't worry, Garth. This ceremony is for a baby. He 
can't understand Hebrew either.

GARTH -- So, what do you suppose they do in there, Wayne?

WAYNE -- Well, CIRCUM is like circle, so it means AROUND 
something. And CISION is like incision. It means to cut. So, 
circumcision must mean to cut around something.

GARTH -- Oh, I get it! They're giving the kid his first haircut!

WAYNE -- Yeah, maybe. (whispers) Shshshsh. quiet. The ceremony 
has already started. Remember, just look like you belong here.

GARTH -- (whispers) He's using a knife, Wayne, not a scissors. 
What kind of a haircut is that?

WAYNE -- (whispers) It's not the hair that they're gonna cut, 
Garth.

GARTH -- (whispers) You don't think they're going to cut his... 
Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.

WAYNE -- (whispers) Garth! You're supposed to look like you 
belong here!

GARTH -- (whispers) I don't think I belong here, Wayne. 

WAYNE -- (whispers) Garth! Where are you going?

GARTH -- (vomits afar)

WAYNE -- (whispers) The big sissy. Oh, man, they really are 
going to cut his.... (vomits afar)

GARTH -- (fading) Well, at least we didn't have sing.


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