FEAST    4'2m0f The parable of the feast

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable 
comes from Luke chapter 14 beginning at verse 7.

When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the 
table, he told them this parable: "When someone invites you to a 
wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more 
distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host 
who invited both of you will come and say to you, 'Give this man 
your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least 
important place..."

FRED -- (open door) Do you have any matches? Please say that you 
have matches!

ED --   Are explosives or flame-throwers involved here?

FRED -- No, no. Nothing like that. Please, I'm in a hurry.

ED --   Look in the drawer, there. 

FRED -- Oh, please be there. (drawer slide) 

ED --   What's your hurry?

FRED -- I knew you would be doing the parable of the feast 
tonight, so in honor of it, I'm giving my own feast in the 
conference room next door. Oh, here they are! I'm so glad!

ED --   What are the matches for?

FRED -- For the candles, silly. I really have to hurry. The 
guests will be arriving in about five minutes. You're invited 
too. Come look.

ED --   I'm right in the middle of a recording here.

FRED -- Bring the microphone along. The cord is long enough to 
reach next door. (fading) I really have to go.

ED --   Well, alright. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm am making my 
way out of the studio, down the hall and into the conference 
roo... Well, isn't this nice!   

FRED -- I did nice work, if I do say so myself.

ED --   Where did you get a table cloth the size of that huge 
conference table?

FRED -- I sewed it myself. I also sewed the 20 matching napkins. 
Aren't they lovely? I think I really outdid myself this time.

ED --   Be careful. I'll remind you that this parable is about 

FRED -- And look at the china. Do you know where I got it? I 
must have shopped at 20 antique stores to come up with 20 place 
settings that matched, 4 place settings here, 3 place settings 
there. I tell you, I deserve a medal for tenacity. Do you think 
my guests will appreciate my hard work?

ED --   Well...

FRED -- And you're not going to believe where I got 20 place 
settings of this elegant silverware.

ED --   Where?

FRED -- At garage sales! Those poor saps had no idea that under 
all that black tarnish was this beautiful silverware. I worked 
like a dog to polish it. Don't you think I did a good job 
polishing it?

ED --   Well, sure, but...

FRED -- And the stemware. I had to shop a half dozen thrift 
stores to find goblets for 20 people -- all on a shoestring 
budget. Am I a great shopper or what?

ED --   Well, it sounds like...

FRED -- And the place cards. Did you know that the place cards 
were NOT printed professionally? I printed them with my own 
calligraphy pen. Didn't they turn out well? Everyone will be so 

ED --   Listen, you really ought to...

FRED -- You don't think my guests will mind if I place myself at 
the head of the table, do you? After all, it IS my feast.

ED --   The pride before the fall.

FRED -- Huh?

ED --   Nothing. You just keep talking.

FRED -- You know if Jesus had used place cards at his feast 
table, like I do, he wouldn't have had to worry about people 
sitting in the wrong seats. Now, let's see, who should I seat 
next to me.

ED --   Your head being the size that it is, I doubt that anyone 
will be able to fit next to you.

FRED -- See, that's what happens when you're successful at 
something. People get jealous and start criticizing you.

ED --   Oh, by the way, what are you serving for dinner.

FRED -- The food! I knew I forgot something!

ED --   Tune in next time for another edition of Parables on 

FRED -- (afar, phone offhook) Hello, Pizza Hut? We need pizzas 
for twenty.

ED --   (afar) And one humble pie.

FRED -- (afar) Very funny.

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