LICENSE  2'1m?f A bureaucrat tries to push papers at Jesus

Apostle headquarters, this is Peter.

...Bureau of Permits and Licenses? 

Violations? I'm sorry, I was unaware aware of any vio...

The wedding in Cana? Yes, I was there when Jesus....

...yes...about a hundred gallons of water changed into wine. 

That's right. It was a big wedding.

No, liquor license. Well, I'm sure he meant no...

Other violations? What other violations?

Well, not at the wedding, that was a little later. Jesus healed 
hundreds of people all over Israel...

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he didn't have a 
health care provider's permit, but...

Oh, that blind man..., no pills, no medicine...Jesus used spit...that's right 
spit. I wouldn't think he'd need a pharmacist's license for 

More violations?, I'm quite sure that he doesn't have a dietition's 
license, why?

...Well, yes, he did feed 5000 people, but...

...Well, yes, five loaves and two fish may be well below the 
recommended daily allowance for 5000 people, but they all had 
plenty to eat...

...No, sir, I can't explain it. You had to be there. 

Still more violations?

Parade permit? I don't remember a parade...Oh, you must mean the 
triumphal entry into Jerusalem. 

No, of course he didn't have a parade permit. He was alone, 
riding on a donkey colt.

I'm sorry, I don't know who's going to clean up all those palm 
branches in the streets.

More violations? Who writes all this stuff down?...

Now that you mention it, I'm not sure that he had an exhumation 
permit when Jesus rose from the dead. But it's to late now anyway. 
He just lifted off the ground and is ascending into heaven as we 
speak. And before you ask, no he didn't have an exit visa. And 
he didn't pay airport departure tax. Goodbye.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.  email: [email protected]