BACK LICENSE 2'1m?f A bureaucrat tries to push papers at Jesus Apostle headquarters, this is Peter. ...Bureau of Permits and Licenses? Violations? I'm sorry, I was unaware aware of any vio... The wedding in Cana? Yes, I was there when Jesus.... ...yes...about a hundred gallons of water changed into wine. That's right. It was a big wedding. No, liquor license. Well, I'm sure he meant no... Other violations? What other violations? Well, not at the wedding, that was a little later. Jesus healed hundreds of people all over Israel... Well, as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he didn't have a health care provider's permit, but... Oh, that blind man... ...no, no pills, no medicine...Jesus used spit...that's right spit. ...no I wouldn't think he'd need a pharmacist's license for spit. More violations? ...no, I'm quite sure that he doesn't have a dietition's license, why? ...Well, yes, he did feed 5000 people, but... ...Well, yes, five loaves and two fish may be well below the recommended daily allowance for 5000 people, but they all had plenty to eat... ...No, sir, I can't explain it. You had to be there. Still more violations? Parade permit? I don't remember a parade...Oh, you must mean the triumphal entry into Jerusalem. No, of course he didn't have a parade permit. He was alone, riding on a donkey colt. I'm sorry, I don't know who's going to clean up all those palm branches in the streets. More violations? Who writes all this stuff down?... Now that you mention it, I'm not sure that he had an exhumation permit when Jesus rose from the dead. But it's to late now anyway. He just lifted off the ground and is ascending into heaven as we speak. And before you ask, no he didn't have an exit visa. And he didn't pay airport departure tax. Goodbye. ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |