BACK POSSESS 5'3m0f Jesus heals a demon possessed man LARRY -- (shouts, echos) Hello! Is any body here? Hello! HARRY -- (whispers) Hey, fella, keep your voice down. He'll hear you. LARRY -- (laughs) Hey, that's very funny. Like somebody in the cemetery is gonna hear me. (laughs) HARRY -- Shshshshsh. I'm serious. My brother is out there among the tombstones. LARRY -- Are you the one who ordered all the hardware? HARRY -- Hardware? LARRY -- Yeah, I'm Larry from Larry's Lock and Key. I have an order here for two each, wrist shackles, solid brass... (klank, klank) two each, ankle shackles, solid brass... (klank, klank) four each, shackle locks, solid brass... (klank, klank) and 12 feet of heavy duty proof coil chain... (chains clatter) That'll be 23 shekels, plus a 5 shekels delivery fee. Sign here. HARRY -- Wait a minute. You're not leaving? LARRY -- Why? Did you order something else? HARRY -- No, but I need to have you help me put these shackles on my brother. LARRY -- Oooooh! You want me to put the shackles on your brother? HARRY -- Yes. LARRY -- You realize, of course, that I am a certified locksmith. HARRY -- Yeah, so? LARRY -- So, I get $35 shekels an hour. HARRY -- $35 shekels?! LARRY -- Okay, see ya. HARRY -- Wait a minute. Alright, I'll pay you $35 shekels. LARRY -- Per hour. One hour minimum. HARRY -- Alright. One hour minimum. Come on, let's go. LARRY -- Well, it's almost dark. HARRY -- Yeah, so? LARRY -- I charge time and a half after dark. That'll be 52.50 an hour. HARRY -- 52.50!? LARRY -- See ya. HARRY -- Alright. Alright. I'll pay it. LARRY -- So, where's the lucky guy who gets all chained up. DEMON -- (screech afar) Hehehehehehehahahahahahahaha. LARRY -- What was that? HARRY -- That's him. LARRY -- Who? HARRY -- My brother. LARRY -- This guy isn't dangerous, is he? HARRY -- Well,.... LARRY -- See ya. HARRY -- Wait! Ah, Larry, wait! I'll pay you extra. LARRY -- 75 shekels per hour. HARRY -- Alright, alright. Right this way. LARRY -- Wait a minute. If he's dangerous, why isn't he already chained up? HARRY -- He was. LARRY -- He was. HARRY -- Yeah, he was. Right this way. LARRY -- So, why isn't he still chained up? HARRY -- Look, why don't we talk about that later. Right this was. If we sneak up on him we can... LARRY -- Why isn't he chained up? HARRY -- He broke that chains. LARRY -- See ya. HARRY -- Alright, 100 shekels per hour. LARRY -- Two hour minimum. HARRY -- Alright. Now, hurry or we'll lose the element of surprise. DEMON --- (screech afar) Hehehehehehehahahahahahahaha LARRY -- We may have already lost it. DEMON --- (screech approaching) Hehehehehehehahahahahahahaha. (all three grunt) HARRY -- I got him! I got him! Put the shackles on him! Put the shackles on him! Larry, put the shackles on him! Larry! What are you doing? LARRY -- He doesn't have any clothes on. HARRY -- I know. I know. Now, put the shackles on. LARRY -- He's naked. HARRY -- Larry, he's a strong man. I can't hold him down forever. Put the shackles on him. LARRY -- He's naked as a jay bird. HARRY -- Alright, alright. This is about money. Right? Alright, what do you want? LARRY -- 150 shekels per hour, two hour minimum. HARRY -- Alright, alright. Now will you please put the shackles on. DEMON --- (screech fading) Hehehehehehehahahahahahahaha HARRY -- Nice going, Larry, now he got away. LARRY -- Alright, I'll only charge you for one hour. HARRY -- An hour?! You didn't do anything! LARRY -- I put my life in grave danger for which I expect to be fairly compensated. HARRY -- Alright, alright. Here. Here's 150 shekels. LARRY -- Plus 23 shekels for the shackles and the delivery. HARRY -- But we didn't even use the shackles! That's why he got away, remember? LARRY -- Oh, now you want to back out of a legitimate business deal? HARRY -- Alright, alright. Here. 20, 21, 22, 23. Twenty-three more shekels. LARRY -- Plus 5 shekels for delivery. HARRY -- And 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 shekels for delivery. Now, how am I going to chain him up? LARRY -- I don't know. Maybe that guy can help you. HARRY -- What guy? LARRY -- The one coming ashore in that boat. HARRY -- Well! I guess my luck has changed! LARRY -- What do you mean? HARRY -- That's Jesus of Nazareth. LARRY -- Yeah, so? Is he a lock smith too? HARRY -- No. Even better. He's the son of God. LARRY -- Right. HARRY -- I've seen him drive out demons from several people. Maybe he can drive the demon out of my brother. LARRY -- This I gotta see. DEMON --- (screech afar) Hehehehehehehahahahahahahaha, Jesus? Jesus of Nazareth? LARRY -- Hey, it looks like your brother knows him. HARRY -- No, the demon knows him. LARRY -- He's pointing at that herd of pigs. HARRY -- Look at that! The demons are going into that herd of pigs. Oh, wow! The pigs are running into the water! Oh, my goodness, the pigs are all drowning! LARRY -- That'll be another 2000 shekels. HARRY -- What? What are you talking about? LARRY -- That herd of pigs belongs to me. At two dollars per pig, that's 2000 shekels. HARRY -- Oh, man. ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |