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PUNCTUAT 4'2m?f Greek lacks important punctuation.

NED -- When he had finished speaking, Jesus said to Simon, "Put 
out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." Simon 
answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't 
caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the 
nets."

FRED - Excuse me, but you missed something there. 

NED -- Do you mind? I'm reading here.

FRED - Yes, but you missed something.

NED -- No, I didn't. I read it right out of the New 
International Version.

FRED - Yeah, well, see, that's the problem. The original Greek 
was inadequate to reveal the true emotions of the Bible 
characters. I have developed a system of punctuations that fill 
that gap.

NED -- What ARE you talking about?

FRED - Well, let's take, for instance, that passage you just 
read.

NED -- Yeah, what about it?

FRED - That passage is just crying out for this punctuation 
here.

NED -- Don't write in my Bible!

FRED - Oh, it's just a tiny little punctuation mark. Here.

NED -- It's just a squiggle.

FRED - Oh, but it adds a whole new emotional intensity to the 
passage.

NED -- Well, it doesn't do anything for me. What is it?

FRED - It's a huuuuuuh sign.

NED -- A huuuuuh sign?

FRED - Yes, let me demonstrate. You read the passage until you 
get to the words of Simon. I'll read his words WITH the 
huuuuuh.

NED -- Oh, alright.

FRED - (chuckles) You're really gonna like this.

NED -- When he had finished speaking, Jesus said to Simon, "Put 
out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." Simon 
answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't 
caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the 
nets."

FRED - Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and 
haven't caught anything. (SIGH) Huuuuuuh. But because you say 
so, I will let down the nets."

NED -- Oh, brother.

FRED - Let's look another passage. Turn the page. There. Read 
that. I'll read the words of Jesus, WITH this punctuation. 

NED -- Another squiggle. What's this one?

FRED - It's a yulchhh. 

NED -- A yulchhh.

FRED - Yes, you see if it doesn't change the meaning. Go ahead, 
read. 

NED -- While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who 
was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his 
face to the ground and begged him, "Lord, if you are willing, 
you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched 
the man...

FRED - ...and said "(sound of disgust) Yulchh. I am willing. Be 
clean!" 

NED -- And immediately the leprosy left him. 

FRED - Well what do you think?

NED -- Thanks for stopping by, but...

FRED - Here, turn the page again. I've got another punctuation 
mark.

NED -- I think I get the point. Do we have to...

FRED - It'll just take a minute. It will amaze you what a 
difference this tiny little speck of a punctuation mark makes in 
the emotion of this passage. I'll put one mark here and one 
here. Okay, you read the up to words of the Pharisees. I'll read 
the rest with the (clicks tongue)

NED -- That's the punctuation? (clicks tongue)

FRED - I'll show you. Read! Read!

NED -- When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend , your sins 
are forgiven." The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began 
thinking to themselves, 

FRED -- (clicks tongue)"Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? 
(clicks tongue) Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

NED -- Don't you have to be somewhere?

FRED - What's the matter? Don't you like my new punctuation 
marks?

NED -- Here, let me try one. 

FRED - Oh, I've never seen that one before. What does it do?

NED -- You read the verse and I'll put in the punctuation at the 
end.

FRED -- Okay. So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. 
Then he went away and hanged himself. 

FRED - (gagging sound)

NED -- That's gross! I think I'm going to be sick.

FRED - Here, let me show you to the door.

(door open, close)

NED -- (vomits, muffled)


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