TALENTS  5'2m0f The parable of the talents

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable comes 
from Matthew chapter 25 beginning at verse 5.

"Again , it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his 
servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five 
talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, 
each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man 
who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to 
work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents 
gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went 
off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money."

FRED -- Okay, I'll take if from here.

ED --   You again. Alright, I'll bite, why are you wearing a 
three-piece suit?

FRED -- I am thinking about becoming a certified investment 

ED --   Oh, don't tell me. You're taking another night school 
class at the Junior college.

FRED -- Well, not exactly.

ED --   You're taking a correspondence course?

FRED -- Well, no.

ED --   Correspondence school?

FRED -- No.

ED --   A one-day seminar?

FRED -- Well, alright, I read a pamphlet.

ED --   A pamphlet.

FRED -- But is was a thick pamphlet.

ED --   Oh, brother. What does a pamphlet have to do with the 
parable of the talents?

FRED -- Well, if this guy had had good investment advice, he 
wouldn't have had to just buried his money.

ED --   And I'm sure you're going to tell our listeners all about 

FRED -- As a matter of fact, I am. That's why I brought this flip 
chart. (paper noise)

ED --   You realize, of course, that our listeners can't see your 
flip charts?

FRED -- But they're in color.

ED --   Oh, then I'm sorry I interrupted.

FRED -- (paper noise) First, the small investor can get a pretty 
fair rate of return on a 6-month CD.

ED --   They didn't have CDs in Jesus' day.

FRED -- (paper noise) Then, an annuity is just the thing. Very 
secure and it also has a fair rate of return.

ED --   No, annuities either.

FRED -- (paper noise) Then, no-load mutual funds are just the right 

ED --   Try again.

FRED -- (paper noise) Commodity futures are a little risky but the 
upside potential is...

ED --   Sorry.

FRED -- Are you sure? Pork Bellies are definitely on the rise.

ED --   Try again.

FRED -- (paper noise) Then, I am pleased to present limited 

ED --   Nope.

FRED -- Well, what DID they have to invest in in Jesus' time.

ED --   They could either loan their money to someone who they 
knew would pay it back with interest, or they could deposit it 
with a broker, who would combine several deposits and loan the 
money to other businessmen.

FRED -- (paper noise) We still haven't talked about T-bills.

ED --   Sorry, there were no T-bills.

FRED -- Tune in next time for another edition of Parables on Para...

ED --   Wait a minute. YOU started this discussion. Tell our 
listeners, how SHOULD the man with only one talent invest his money? 
Should he loan it to a friend or deposit it with a broker?

FRED -- Tune in next time for another edition of Parables on Para...

ED --   Not so fast. Answer the question.

FRED -- Well, if his friends are anything like mine, I wouldn't 
trust them to pay back a drachma, let alone a whole talent.

ED --   So, as his investment counselor dressed in a three-piece 
suit, you wouldn't recommend that he loan it to a friend?

FRED -- No way.

ED --   So, what about a broker?

FRED -- What do we know about this broker joker? No way. But, right 
here on my full color flip chart (paper noise) we have municipal 

ED --   Sorry.

FRED -- They're tax exempt with an excellent interest rate.

ED --   No such investment in Jesus' time. What about the broker?

FRED -- I don't trust brokers. The first part of the word BROKER is 
BROKE. No thanks.

ED --   So, doesn't that bring us back to burying the money?

FRED -- That may not be so bad after all. What's the worst that 
could happen?

ED --   According to Jesus, this parable is not about investments at 
all, but about rewarding those who take risks to invest the gifts 
God has given them. No risks, no rewards..

FRED -- No rewards, huh? On the other hand, maybe a broker wouldn't 
be a bad way to go. I'll have to think about that.

ED --   Too late! The master has already returned and is asking for 
an accounting. You lose! Tune in next time for another edition of 
Parables on Parade.

FRED -- (afar) You sure they didn't have pork bellies in those days?

ED --   (afar) They were Jewish. What do you think?

FRED -- (afar) Oh.

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