BACK TENANT 5'2m0f The parable of the tenants. MATTHEW -- Where is that contractor?! It's so hard to get good help these days! BUILDER -- (hurried footsteps)(approaching) Hi, sorry I'm late. I was just meeting with Nebuchadnezzar about a new tower he wants to build. MATTHEW -- Nebuchadnezzar? He lived thousands of years ago and hundreds of miles away. How could you...." BUILDER -- Hey, these are all Bible stories. All you have to do is flip a few pages and boom, you're in Babylon. Anyway, my name is Builder. And you are....? MATTHEW -- Matthew, Matthew 21:33. BUILDER -- Matthew 21:33? That's a Bible reference, not a name. How did you end up with a name like Matthew 21:33? MATTHEW -- Ah, well, I'm the Land owner in one of the Lord's parables. But the Lord didn't give me a name. I thought Land owner sounded snobby. So, Matthew 21:33 will have to do. BUILDER -- Suit yourself, Matthew. What can I help you with? MATTHEW -- Okay, I need a wall built around this vineyard, then I'll need a wine press dug in that corner there and a watchtower built in the far corner, there. BUILDER -- ...wine press and a watchtower...got it. MATTHEW -- Listen, I'm in kind of a hurry, the Lord only gave me one verse to complete all the work, rent out the vineyard to a tenant farmer, and take a journey. BUILDER -- No problem. I'll used undocumented aliens and lots of them. We'll have it all built on time and under budget. MATTHEW -- Undocumented aliens? Mr Builder, this work is for the Lord.... BUILDER -- No problem. The Lord doesn't mention the laborers in the parable, does he? MATTHEW -- Well, no, but... BUILDER -- Believe me, if he doesn't mention the laborers in the parable, it doesn't matter. Say, maybe I can help you with the farmer too. MATTHEW -- The farmer. BUILDER -- Yeah, I've done that. MATTHEW -- You're a builder AND a farmer? BUILDER -- Of course. Remember the farmer who cast the seed on the path so the birds could eat it up? MATTHEW -- That was you? BUILDER -- But, don't get me wrong. I have a lot of experience as a builder too. I was the guy who built the house on the sand, so it could wash away in the storm. MATTHEW -- Yes, well, maybe I should get more than one bid to build my vineyard wall. BUILDER -- Look, Matthew, these parables only last four or five verses. MATTHEW -- This one is six verses. BUILDER -- Like I said, how good does the construction have to be in order to last six verses? Let's not get bogged down by quality control here. Okay, so let's get back to the tenant farmer. Five will get you ten, this parable needs a bad guy for a tenant. MATTHEW -- Well, yeah, but... BUILDER -- Then, I'm your man. So, what kind of guy does the Lord's parable call for? Greedy? MATTHEW -- Well, yes, but... BUILDER -- I am terrific at greedy. Remember the servant who mismanaged the boss's estate and then cut everybody's debt in half to make friends? MATTHEW -- That was you, too? BUILDER -- Greed is my middle name. When I build this wall around your vineyard, I'll pay the illegal aliens next to nothing and walk out of here one verse later a rich man. MATTHEW -- Okay, suppose just for a second that I let you be my tenant. What do you do when I send my servants to bring home my share of your harvest? BUILDER -- How many servants? MATTHEW -- How many? BUILDER -- Yeah, in order to make the best impression about greed I have to know how many servants you're sending to carry home your share of the harvest. MATTHEW -- Let's say four. BUILDER -- Okay, four. See, the trick is to do something nasty to each one, but not the same thing to any of them. It makes a more interesting parable. MATTHEW -- Okay, but keep it short. The Lord only gave me six verses for the whole story.... BUILDER -- I know, I know, then the Lord wraps it all up at the end with a single sentence that all the seminary students can mark in yellow. (chuckles) MATTHEW -- Time's a wastin' Mr Builder. Can you get on with this, please? BUILDER -- Okay, okay. The servants. Let's see. I beat one up, I stone another, I kill the next one and I humiliate the last one and send him back to you with the message "I ain't paying no rent!" MATTHEW -- Alright, suppose I send four more servants. BUILDER -- Same thing. MATTHEW -- You'd do the same thing to each of them again? That's not very creative. BUILDER -- Look, you've got six verses to work with. What do you want from me? MATTHEW -- Alright, suppose now I send my son. BUILDER -- Hey, nothing personal, but I've got to kill him. MATTHEW -- You'd kill my only son? BUILDER -- Of course. MATTHEW -- But, why? BUILDER -- Two reasons: greed and lust. MATTHEW -- Greed and lust? BUILDER -- First, the greed. With the land owner's only heir out of the way, the vineyard will be mine when you die. Pure logic. MATTHEW -- And the lust? BUILDER -- With your son out of the way, I get to hop over to chapter 23 and take over for your son at his marriage to ten virgins. MATTHEW -- (fading) I'll get back to you. BUILDER -- (fading) Wait a minute. I haven't even given you my estimate, yet. Matthew. Matthew? ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |