WINESKIN 4'2m0f The parable of the wineskins

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable is from 
Luke chapter 5, beginning at verse 36.

He told them this parable: "No one tears a patch from a new garment 
and sews it on an old one. If he does, he will have torn the new 
garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no 
one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will 
burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be 
ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins. And no one 
after drinking old wine wants the new, for he says, 'The old is 

(door opens)

FRED -- Hi, I didn't miss anything, didn't I? ...well look what 
we have here: somebody left their sewing kit. You know, I took 
home economics when I was in school.

ED --   I'll bet you did.

FRED -- Yes, I did. And just to prove it you, I will sew this patch 
over the hole in this shirt.

ED --   I wouldn't do that.

FRED -- Of course, YOU wouldn't. You never took home economics.

ED --   No, you don't understand. That shirt is old, but the patch 
is new. It won't work.

(sewing machine noise)

FRED -- Of course, it will work. The patch matches the shirt 
perfectly, you silly goose. (sewing machine stops) There, see? 
All done. I just snip the thread and voilah! The shirt is just 
like new.

ED --   Until you wash it, then the patch will shrink and the shirt 
won't shrink. If the patch doesn't tear itself lose from the shirt, 
it will be all puckered and ugly.

FRED -- Well, I have an easy solution to that. Just don't ever wash 
the shirt. 

ED --   Oh, brother.

FRED -- Well, what do we have over here?

ED --   Those are more displays for today's parable.

FRED -- I don't remember a parable with a bottle of wine and dead 

ED --   Those aren't dead animals. Those are wineskins. They're 
made from the specially prepared hides of animals and designed 
so that they won't leak when you pour wine into them.

FRED -- Oh, I remember that parable. It says, you can't pour new 
wine into old wineskins. That's a lot of hogwash. Look here, I'm 
pouring this brand new bottle of wine in here

(glug, glug, glug)

...just like...this. There, the whole bottle of NEW wine is now 
in the OLD wineskin. Now, do you see any leakage at all?

ED --   Well, not yet, but...

FRED -- I rest my case. What was the purpose of this ridiculous 
parable anyway.

ED --   Jesus was questioned about the appropriateness of his 
actions. His enemies compared his actions with the actions of John 
the Baptist. Jesus used this parable to explain that there was a 
time and place... an appropriate time and place for everythi....

(dripping sounds)

FRED -- ...Excuse me, would you mind, the wineskin seems to have 
developed a bit of a leak. Is there a rag or something we can 
use to wipe this up. Do you have anymore of this patch material?

ED --   Are you listening to me? You asked me about the parable.

FRED -- Oh, boy, this baby is leaking like a sieve. (Shouts) Is 
there a mop around here?!

ED --   Don't use the shirt! You'll stain it! Oh, brother!

FRED -- (Shouts) Paper towels? Toilet paper? People, can I get a 
little help here?

ED --   And that's our parable for tonight on..Parables on Para...

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