BUD      3'2m0f Aaron's staff buds, blooms and produces almonds

(all cowboy accents)

SLIM --- Alright, Moses, I'm callin' you out. There's no room in 
this here wagon train for the two of us.

MOSES -- (approaching) Alright, slim, I'm comin' out. But I 
ain't armed. You wouldn't cut down an unarmed man would you?

SLIM --- Moses, where's you side arm? What kind of yellow belly 
are you?

MOSES -- You know I don't wear a weapon, slim. I rely on God to 
protect me.

SLIM --- Well, you better say your prayers, Moses, cuz I'm 
takin' over this wagon train and we're headin' back to Egypt.

MOSES -- Listen, Slim, you seem like a nice guy to me and I got 
no quarrel with you. But you seem to be a might stupid.

SLIM --- Was that an insult?

MOSES -- Slim, you seen for yourself what the Lord done to Korah 
and his friends when they tried to take over leadership of this 
here wagon train. The earth opened up and swallowed them, 
leaving no trace.

SLIM --- It was a lucky shot.

MOSES -- Then, the 250 men burning incense, they were burned to 
a crisp because they opposed me.

SLIM --- Coulda happened to anybody.

MOSES -- And then when 17000 people tried to take over 
leadership at the tent of meeting, the Lord struck them with a 
plague and they died on the spot. Is that what you want?

SLIM --- Oh, sure, now yer gonna play dirty an' call in the 
Lord to do yer fightin'. That ain't fair.

MOSES -- I tell you what. You can have my job.

SLIM --- Huh?

MOSES -- You can have my job without firing a shot.

SLIM --- What's the catch?

MOSES -- We'll put twelve sticks with your name on 'em in the 
tent of testimony next to Aaron's staff here. If any of your 
sticks grow buds, you can lead the wagon train. But if Aaron's 
staff grows buds, we keep the leadership of the wagon train. 
Fair enough?

SLIM --- No tricks?

MOSES -- No tricks?

SLIM --- Okay, I'll just cut twelve branches off'n this here 
tree and carve my name on each one. This here is a really green 
tree. If'n these branches don't grow buds in a couple weeks, 
I'll be surprised. But I ain't waitin' more'n a couple weeks.

MOSES -- How about overnight.

SLIM --- What?! Ain't now way a stick kin grow buds overnight.

MOSES -- You yellow, Slim?

SLIM --- No, no, I ain't yellow. Okay, overnight is good.

MOSES -- Okay, it's morning. Let's have a look.

SLIM --- Now, wait a minute. I just put 'em in there.

MOSES -- This is radio, slim. Time flies on radio, remember?

SLIM --- Oh, yeah. (fading) So, let's go on into the tent of 
testimony and get them sticks. See if any of 'em grew any buds.

MOSES -- (afar, approaching) Okay, here they are, twelve 
branches with your name on them and Aaron's staff with his name 
on it.

SLIM --- (near) Looks like a draw to me.

MOSES -- (near) What do you mean, it looks like a draw? Look at 
Aaron's staff. It's covered with flowers and there's even some 
almonds growing on it.

SLIM --- You said it hadda grow buds. I don't see no buds. Just 
flowers and almonds.

MOSES -- Slim, this all happened overnight. Doesn't that tell 
you who the Lord wants to lead this wagon train?

SLIM --- Let's try two out of three.

MOSES -- Sorry.

SLIM --- Here, cut the cards. High card leads the wagon train.

MOSES -- The Lord has spoken.


SLIM --- Flip you for it?

MOSES -- Nice try.

SLIM --- Paper rock and scissors?

MOSES -- No.

SLIM --- Toss pennies. Closest to the wall leads the wagon 

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