BUSH     2'1m1f Moses calls 911 when the bush burns

DISPATCHER -- 911 Emergency. How may I help you?

MOSES ------ Uh, yeah, ah, I'd like to report a fire? 

DISPATCHER -- Is a structure fire or a brush fire, sir?

MOSES ------ It's just one bush. 

DISPATCHER -- This is a joke isn't it, sir? Well, we've all had a 
good laugh...

MOSES ------ No! There really is a bush on fire! 

DISPATCHER -- For the record sir, may I have your name?

MOSES ------ Um, my name. My name is Moses. 

DISPATCHER -- Well, Mr Moses have you tried putting the fire out 

MOSES ------ Well, yes, I tried... but...

DISPATCHER -- But what, Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ But when I did... the bush told you to take off my 

DISPATCHER -- Mr Moses, I really think you need help.

MOSES ------ That's why I called you. There's nobody around here 
to help.

DISPATCHER -- Uh huh. So, you're all alone.

MOSES ------ Well, I'm not ALL alone. I'm a shepherd. My sheep 
are here. But they're no help at all. In fact, you should smell 
what they did when the burning bush started to talk.

DISPATCHER -- Yes, of course, the burning bush was talking. Is it 
talking to you right now, Mr Moses? 

MOSES ------ Well, actually, yes, it is.

DISPATCHER -- And what is the bush saying, sir?

MOSES ------ I am.

DISPATCHER -- I am what, Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ I am who I am.

DISPATCHER -- I am who I am. Is that supposed to mean something, 
Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ That's the name. 

DISPATCHER -- The name. 

MOSES ------ The name of the bush.

DISPATCHER -- Every burning bush should have a name. Don't you 
think, Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ The bush is telling me to go see Pharaoh.

DISPATCHER -- Excuse me?

MOSES ------ The bush is telling me to go see Pharaoh.

DISPATCHER -- Well, I'm sure he'd love to see a Hebrew sheep 
herder with a burning bush.

MOSES ------ I know Pharaoh personally. 

DISPATCHER -- I'm sure.

MOSES ------ I could have been the next Pharaoh myself.

DISPATCHER -- Well, you would have had my vote, Mr Moses. By the 
way, the burning bush isn't telling you to harm the Pharaoh in 
any way, is it, Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ No, of course not. I just have to ask him to let my 
people go. 

DISPATCHER -- I see. Go where?

MOSES ------ Through the Red Sea. 

DISPATCHER -- You did say THROUGH the Red Sea?

MOSES ------ Yeah, then wait on the other side for further 

DISPATCHER -- Well, I hope the bush doesn't keep you waiting 
long, Mr Moses. It's a barren desert on the other side of the Red 

MOSES ------ Forty years. 

DISPATCHER -- Forty years?

MOSES ------ Yeah.

DISPATCHER -- And what makes you think Pharaoh will let your 
people go on a forty year vacation, Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ Once he sees me turn my walking stick into a snake 
he'll be convinced.

DISPATCHER -- Well, that would convince me. Do you do any other 
magi tricks, Mr Moses?

MOSES ------ Huh? Well! It looks like I won't be needing a fire 
truck after all?

DISPATCHER -- You won't? Why not? Isn't the bush burning?

MOSES ------ Yes, it's burning but it's not burning up. 

DISPATCHER -- Well, isn't that one for the books. 

MOSES ------ Speaking of books, I think I'll include this 
incident in my second book.


MOSES ------ Yes, I'm going to call it Exodus. 

DISPATCHER -- So, you're a sheep herder and an author? 

MOSES ------ Listen, I'd love to tell you about it, but I have a 
long trip ahead of me. I have to go to the royal palace.

DISPATCHER -- Well, have a nice trip, Mr Moses. And if you don't 
mind, I'll just call ahead and warn them, let them know 
that you're coming. Oh, and give my best to the burning bush. 

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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