DAVID    1'1m0f Boy David applies for the job of king by phone

(phone rings, off hook)

King Saul's Personnel Department. May I help you?

Excuse me? You want to want to apply for the job of what? 

King? What's your name, young fella?

Well, David, what makes you think you'd be a good king? Are you 
a prince?

You're a sheep herder. Well, I guess if you can go for months 
without taking a bath, you're qualified for something. But, you 
don't have any royal blood in your vains?

But you do have some famous ancestors?

Ruth? My boy, she wasn't even an Israelite. That means that 
you're not even a full blooded Jew. Maybe you should...

Rahab? Who's Rahab?.. Another gentile... a prostitute. Oh, 
glory! Well, thank you for calling, David, but the successor to 
King Saul has to be of royal descent or at least a hero in 

You ARE a hero in battle? How many philistines have you killed 
in battle?


But he was a big one.

Your voice hasn't changed yet, David. Noone would trust you with 
a sword.

A sling shot. How clever. Well, young man, while your 
qualifications are very impressive, we cannot find a suitable... 

Excuse me? You have more qualifications?

You're a singer. Is that supposed to...

And a song writer. And I thought you weren't qualified to be 

In that case, David, your majesty, meet me right away for the 
coronation in the throne room at Chuck E Cheese's. Yes, hurry!

(dial tone)

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