SAMSON   6'1m1f Delilah finds the secret to Samson's strength

DELILAH -- (Romanian gypsy) Hello, handsome. What yourrr name?

SAMSON --- (Cocky, dumb jock) Funny, you haven't heard of me. 
I'm a hero, you know. My name is Samson.

DELILAH -- I can tell frrrom yourrr accent that you'rrre not 
frrrom arrround herrre.

SAMSON --- No, I'm from Zorah.

DELILAH -- So, Samson, I suppose a gorrrgeous hunk like you has 
5 or 6 wives, eh?

SAMSON --- No. My only wife was burned at the stake.

DELILAH -- You surrre know how to sveet talk a lady, Samson, you 

SAMSON --- Your not so bad looking yourself, there, lady. What's 
your name?

DELILAH -- My name is Delilah. And I sure vould like to get to 
know your betterrr.

SAMSON --- Well, I think that can be arranged.

DELILAH -- So, tell me a little bit about yourrrself, Samson, 

SAMSON --- Well, I'm the leader of the Hebrews, but my own 
people once tied me up so they could turn me over to the 

DELILAH -- Such a likable guy.

SAMSON --- But I broke the ropes...

DELILAH -- Oooo, and strrronG too.

SAMSON --- Yup, then I picked up the jawbone of a decomposing 
donkey and beat to death 1000 Philistines.

DELILAH -- Oh, you'rrre so rrromantic. Tell me morrre.

SAMSON --- Well, I once slept with a prostitute from Gaza. And 
when I woke up I found that the towns people had trapped me by 
closing and locking the city gates. They were going to kill me.

DELILAH -- Such a likable guy.

SAMSON --- But, I tore the city gates right off the hinges and 
carried the city gates 35 miles to the top of the hill 
overlooking Hebron.

DELILAH -- Oh, and practical too.

SAMSON --- So, how about you and me, babe?

DELILAH -- Oh, I'm sure you're just the man I've been 
searrrchinG for all my life, darrrlinG, but before I get 
serrrious about a man, I must know his limitations.

SAMSON --- Baby, I ain't got no limitations.

DELILAH -- Not even bad grammarrrr?

SAMSON --- Why are you talking about my grammar. She died 10 
years ago.

DELILAH -- Did you plead self defense?

SAMSON --- What?

DELILAH -- Neverrrmind.

SAMSON --- So, how about you and me in a wrestling match. Two 
out of three falls?

DELILAH -- You'rrre rrrriplinG muscles are a bit too much forrr 
me, Samson. Maybe if I knew how to turn off yourrr trrremendous 

SAMSON --- What are your talking about?

DELILAH -- I vant to know the secret of yourrr strength, 
darrrlinG. Is that to much to ask?

SAMSON --- I get my strength from the Lord. Now, let's wrestle.

DELILAH -- Just one a minute, therrre, darrrlinG. How do you turn 
it off?

SAMSON --- I ain't turned it on yet. I was hoping that you would 
take care of that. Let's wrestle.

DELILAH -- Down boy! Down! Frrrankly, Samson, I'm frrrightened 
of yourrr grrreat strrrength. Maybe if I knew how to turn it off 
for a while, we could wrrrestle until dawn?

SAMSON --- Well, in that case, Just tie me up with seven fresh 
leather thongs. Then, I'll be hopeless.

DELILAH -- You'rrre alrrready hopeless.

SAMSON --- What?

DELILAH -- Nothing. I just happen to have 7 fresh leather thongs 
herrre, darrrling. So, what you'rrre sayinG, is that if I just 
tie... you... up... with... seven... thongs... like... this... 
you... vill... lose... your... strength? There let's try that.


SAMSON --- Eh! (laughs) Just kidding. See? I broke them like 
they was paper. (laughs)

DELILAH -- Vell, darrrlinG, that certainly was a joke on me.

SAMSON --- So, how about a little smooch?

DELILAH -- Perrrhaps, as soon as I find out how to turn off your 
sourrrce of strrrength, darrrlinG..

SAMSON --- Aw, come on!

DELILAH -- (afar) Vell, it's been nice meetinG you, big boy.

SAMSON --- Alright. I'll tell you. If you just tie me up with 
seven new ropes, I'm done.

DELILAH -- Only in my dreams.

SAMSON --- What?

DELILAH -- Nothing. So, I just happen... to... have... seven... 
new... ropes... here... to... tie... you... up... with. Therrre 
trrry zat.


SAMSON --- Eh! (laughs) Just kidding. (laughs)

DELILAH -- (fading) This time I'm not amused.

SAMSON --- Wait a minute. Where you going?

DELILAH -- (afar) Therrre are plenty of otherrr fish in ze sea.

SAMSON --- Alright, Alright, I'll tell you. The secret of my 
strength is in my hair. If you weave seven pieces of cloth into 
my hair, I'm like a slug.

DELILAH -- (near) Which requires no change in your personality.

SAMSON --- What was that?

DELILAH -- Nothing. So, what you'rrre sayinG, is that... if... 
I... veave... these... seven... strrrips... of... cloth... in... 
yourrrr... hair... Therrre, trrry that.

SAMSON --- Eh! (laughs) I had you going there for a while, didn't 

DELILAH -- (afar) Yes, und you have me goinG now.

SAMSON --- No, no, please don't go. I'll tell you this time, I 

DELILAH -- This betterrr be good, bubba.

SAMSON --- The secret is in my hair, like I said, but cloths 
have nothing to do with it. It's my hair itself. I've never had 
it cut. If I ever shaved off my hair, I'd be like moosh.

DELILAH -- Und a perrrsonality to match.

SAMSON --- How's that?

DELILAH -- It didn't hurrrt to tell the truth, did it, darrlinG?

SAMSON --- So, now you and me? We can go two out of three falls 
on the mat, huh?

DELILAH -- Surrre, darrrlinG, just as soon as you drrrink this 
cocktail I mixed just forrr you.

SAMSON --- Mmmm. Tastes good! So, what's it got in it? Do I 
taste a little poopermint. (laughs) Did you hear that? I said 
poopermint. I meant to say... Oah! 

(thud, music cue: "Show me the way to go home")

Where am I?

DELILAH -- Why, you'rrre in jail, DarrrlinG.

SAMSON --- How did I get in jail?

DELILAH -- Well, you fainted, darrrlinG. Apparently, you can't 
hold yourrr liquorrr. I trrried to lift you but you werrre too 
heavy, so I lightened you up a little. I shaved off yourrr 
hairrr. (laughs)

SAMSON --- You what? (chains clink) What's this? Chains? How 
could you do this?

DELILAH -- It brrroke my hearrrt, darrrlinG, but forrr 5500 
shekels of silverrrr, I decided to admirrre you from afarrrr. 

SAMSON --- Delilah, I never want to lay eyes on you again.

DELILAH -- That can be arrrrranged. (laughs)

SAMSON --- (screams)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.  email: [email protected]