BACK CORRECT 4'1m1f Political correctness vs censorship TOM -- Our Bible reading for tonight is first John 5:11 and 12 "And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life and this life is in his son. He who has the son has life. He who does not have the son of god does not have life" (door open) SAL -- Just a minute, there, young man. TOM -- Do you mind? You're interrupting a radio broadcast. SAL -- That text is not correct. TOM -- Of course, it's correct. I read it directly out of the Bible. SAL -- Well, then, the Bible is not correct. TOM -- But, this is the New International Version. It was translated by over a hundred international language and Bible scholars. SAL -- Well, then, THEY'RE not correct. TOM -- How could they be not correct? They used the most recently discovered Greek and Hebrew manuscripts. This has to be the most accurate translation in history. SAL -- Well, then, the Greek and Hebrew are not correct. TOM -- Hold it right there, lady, the Greek and Hebrew were inspired by God himself. You can't get more correct than that. SAL -- What I mean is that your Bible is not politically correct. TOM -- What do you mean, it's not politically correct? SAL -- I represent a coalition of homosexuals, radicals feminists, atheists and several other special interest groups making up less than 2% of the population, who want to sensitize you to the exclusionary language that you Christians use to suppress minorities. TOM -- Well, consider me sensitized. Now, do you mind if I continue my Bible reading? SAL -- Not at all. TOM -- Then, why aren't you leaving? SAL -- I'll just stand here and monitor your language, to make sure that it's politically correct. TOM -- 1 John 5:13 "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the son of God... SAL -- (buzzer) TOM -- ...so that you may know that you have eternal life. SAL -- (buzzer) TOM -- Look, miss... SAL -- ...that's MIZZ. My marital status is none of your business. TOM -- Look, lady... SAL -- LADY is an antiquated term that has been used by men for generations to keep women in a submissive role. I would appreciate it if you would refer to me by a more politically correct term. TOM -- Look,...person..., what's the purpose of the buzzer? SAL -- It's a signal that you've violated the sensibilities of one of the minorities I represent. TOM -- But I haven't even finished the sentence ye... SAL -- I was trying to signal you that you should reread 1 John 5:11 and 12 and correct all the errors you previously committed. TOM -- But, I explained it to you, there were no errors... SAL -- (Buzzes) Just do it. TOM -- Maybe another time... SAL -- (Buzzes) Now! Minorities have been suppressed for hundreds of years. The time has come for perpetrators like you to set the record straight. TOM -- But... SAL -- (Buzzes) TOM -- Alright! Will you leave as soon as I finish? SAL -- As soon as your language is politically correct. TOM -- 1 John 5:11 and 12: And this is the testimony. God has... SAL -- (buzzes) It isn't politically correct to publicly advocate one supreme being over another. TOM -- And this is the testimony. DEITY has given us eternal life, and this life is in his... SAL -- (buzzes) Specifying the sex of Deity is not politically correct. TOM -- ...and this life is in ITS son... SAL -- (buzzes) TOM -- ...and this life is in ITS OFFSPRING. He who has the... SAL -- (buzzes) TOM -- ...the INDIVIDUAL who has the... OFFSPRING has life. The INDIVIDUAL who does not have the OFFSPRING of DEITY does not have life. There. Was that politically correct? SAL -- Yes. TOM -- Good. Let's go, then. SAL -- Let go of my hand. Where are you taking me? TOM -- You and I are going to go to your minority groups to tell your people what offends Christians. SAL -- You can't do that! That would be censorship! TOM -- (buzzes) Bingo! Lesson number one: if a small minority does it, it's called politically correct. But if a majority does it, it's called censorship. Let's go. SAL -- (fading) Give me back my buzzer. (door slams) ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |