BACK

DRIVTHRU 5'2m0f Drive thru christian counseling

RICHIE -- (Speaker) Hi, welcome to Counseling City, the world's 
first drive thru counseling center. May I help you?

TOM -- Hi, yes, I'd like to see a counselor.

RICHIE -- (Speaker) Good. My name is Richie and I'll be your 
counselor today. Will you be using any coupons?

TOM -- Coupons?

RICHIE -- (Phone rings, speaker voice) Excuse me, sir, there's 
the phone. Counseling City crisis prevention hotline, may I help 
you? Yes, we offer Bible oriented Christian counseling. One 
moment, please.

(Speaker with echo) Kareem, hotline one, please. Kareem, hotline 
one.

(speaker) Thank you for waiting, sir, what can I help you with?

TOM -- Ah, I'd like the Bible Oriented Christian counseling.

RICHIE -- (speaker) Good, please drive forward to counseling bay 
12 and step out of the car.

(auto accelerates, stops, car door open, close, live voice) Hi, 
my name is Richie. What's yours?

TOM -- Ah, Tom. Mmmmy name is Tom.

RICHIE -- Is something wrong, Tom?

TOM -- Uh, no, I guess not. I'm just not used to seeing Christian 
counselors in a yellow and orange stripped uniform.

RICHIE -- Yes, well, what can we help you with?

TOM -- Well, I'm the youngest vice-president in my company, but 
I'm afraid that my lack of self-control may limit my further 
climb up the corporate ladder.

RICHIE -- You mean you're yielding to temptation?

TOM -- Exactly.

RICHIE -- Give me an example.

TOM -- Well, I gave up smoking a couple of years ago, but last 
time I went into one of those high pressure meetings in a 
smoke-filled room, well, I just lost my presence of mind and 
before I knew it, my hand was reaching for a cigarette.

RICHIE -- You REACHED for a cigarette.

TOM -- Yeah, like this, I REACHED for a cigarette.

RICHIE -- First Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has seized you 
except what is common to man and Counseling City is faithful. We 
will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear."

(tearing sound)

TOM -- Is it really necessary to tie my hand against my body like 
that, I mean, with duct tape?

RICHIE --  Trust me, Tom, I am a professional. Please go on, finish
your story.

TOM -- Well, my company is in the sports fashion business. So, 
when we go to shows and conventions, I am expected to wear some 
of the latest company products. I have to always look my best. 
But for some reason people in my office are always bringing 
homemade cookies and candy into the office. And, before I know 
it, my hand is reaching for one to many treats.

RICHIE -- Your hand is REACHING.

TOM -- Yeah, like this, I just reach out and... 

(tearing sound)

...listen, I've never had counseling where they duct tape both 
my hands against my body before. Are you sure...

RICHIE -- Luke 22:40 "Call on the name of Counseling City and 
your will be saved." Please continue.

TOM -- Well, then, I go to the health spa to work off all those 
high calorie treats and I that's when I start ogle all those 
beautiful women in tight fitting...

RICHIE -- Matthew 43:12 "If your eyes cause you to sin, cover 
them up."

(tearing sound)

TOM -- Listen, do you really have to blindfold me. Are you sure 
that's what Matthew 43:12 says? Cover them up?

RICHIE -- Trust me.

TOM -- I can't see a thing. Where are you?

RICHIE -- I'm right here, sir, please continue with your story of 
temptation.

TOM -- Well, the worst thing is the on-the-job pressure. 
Sometimes when I don't think I can take it anymore, I slip out 
the side door and play hookie for the rest of the day.

RICHIE -- So, what you're saying is that you WALK out.

TOM -- Yes, I walk out. 

(tearing sound)

More duct tape? Say, what are you doing?

RICHIE -- "Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the 
evil one." Do you know that scripture verse, Tom?

TOM -- Yes, but where does it say you have to bind up my legs? I 
can't even walk. I can't even move. What kind of Christian 
counseling is this anyway....

(tearing sound)

Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Mmm. Mmmmmmm.

RICHIE -- A little more duct tape will take care or that 
temptation too. James 1:19 "Everyone should be quick to listen, 
slow to speak and slow to become angry." 

TOM -- Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. Mmmm. Mmmmmm.

RICHIE -- Well, there you are, Tom. You have complete control of 
all your temptations.

TOM -- Mmmmm. Mmmm.

RICHIE -- Now, you're ready to resume your climb up the corporate 
ladder.

TOM -- Mmmm. Mmmmmmm.

RICHIE -- (Car door opens) Now, let's get you into the back seat 
of your car....

(thud)

TOM --  Mmmm.

RICHIE --  ...and one of our counselor trainees will drive you 
back to your office.

TOM -- Mmm. Mmmmm. Mmm. Mmmmmm.

RICHIE -- Your welcome, Tom. And thanks for choosing Counseling 
City.

TOM -- Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. (door slams)


©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: [email protected]

BACK