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GREEK    3'2m0f A brief lesson in Greek, Hebrew and patience

LEROY -- (hillbilly, approaching) Hi, professor. What ya doin', 
readin'?

PROF --- (snobbish, British) What gave you the first clue, 
Leroy. Was it my reading glasses or the fact that I have a Bible 
open on my lap.

LEROY -- Aw, professor, you're just funnin' me. That ain't the 
Bible.

PROF --- Yes, it IS the Bible, Leroy. Don't you have a class or 
something?

LEROY -- I seen the Bible lots of times. It don't look like that, 
with all them squiggles.

PROF --- This is the original Old Testament Hebrew text. 

LEROY -- You mean, this is the way they wrote in the old days?

PROF --- Yes.

LEROY -- How come they didn't use real letters?

PROF --- These ARE real letters, Leroy. The Hebrews who wrote the 
Old Testament had their own letters. See, this one is called 
Dalet.

LEROY -- What's this one?

PROF --- He.

LEROY -- Who?

PROF --- He.

LEROY -- I know it's HE, but who is he?

PROF --- HE is the H sound. For instance, it's the first letter in 
the word HEBREW.

LEROY -- HE. Oh, HE! Why didn't you say so? And what's this one?

PROF --- Nun.

LEROY -- None.

PROF --- Yes, nun.

LEROY -- You mean zero.

PROF --- No, I mean Nun. 

LEROY -- That's what I said. Zero. Nothin'.

PROF --- Leroy, it's not a number.

LEROY -- Oh, Nun!

PROF --- That's right, Nun!

LEROY -- I didn't think they had any nuns in the Old Testament.

PROF --- Of course, they did. Here's one here, here, here and 
here. They're all over the Old Testament.

LEROY -- Did they have any convents?

PROF --- Leroy, NUN is not a ....

LEROY -- What's this cute li'l letter, here?

PROF --- SIN.

LEROY -- Oh, I know all about SIN.

PROF --- I'm sure you do.

LEROY -- Yup. If there was more NUN's in the Old Testament, 
there woulda been a lot less SINs.

PROF --- Leroy, are you sure you don't have a class to go to? 

LEROY -- Nope. I gotta nothin' but time on my hands.

PROF --- I'm sure you do. Let's try the New Testament, Leroy. 
Greek is a bit easier to learn than Hebrew.

LEROY -- It's all Greek to me, Perfessor. What's this squiggle 
here?

LEROY -- This is RHO.

LEROY -- ROW?

PROF --- Yes, Rho.

LEROY -- So, this here must be the story about the boat on the 
Sea of Galilee.

PROF --- That's a different row, Leroy. I mean... Nevermind. Let's 
try another letter. This is MU.

LEROY -- MU? By golly, I think my cat speaks Greek. MU! (laughs)

PROF --- This is PI.

LEROY -- PI? 

PROF --- PI.

LEROY -- Apple or cherry.

PROF --- And this is NU.

LEROY -- No, it ain't.

PROF --- Yes, it is, Leroy. It's NU.

LEROY -- No, it ain't NU perfessor. I seen it lotsa times before. 
It's in my Bible too. It's a V.

PROF --- Leroy, that's not a V...it's a... Well, look at the time. 
I have a lecture (mumbles) tomorrow afternoon. 

LEROY -- Well, thanks for the Greek and Hebrew lesson, perfessor. 
It was as easy as PI. Ha, ha.

PROF --- (fading) Apple or cherry.


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