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BLIND    3'2m0f Interrogation of blind man who now sees

COP ---- (hardened, Brooklyn accent, enters, dragging Harold by 
the ear) Alright, fella, make it easy on yourself. Tell us what 
you know. (pushes Harold into chair DC)

HAROLD - (wimpy) Alright, alright. What do you want to know?

COP ---- Let's start at the top. What's your name?

HAROLD - My name is Harold Nillman. That's spelled with two L's.

COP ---- (whacks Harold over the head with brown sock filled 
with foam rubber) Don't hand me that, buddy. 

HAROLD - One L would be fine.

COP ---- I'm not talking about the spelling of your name, your 
numskull. Harold Nillman is the name of the blind man who used 
to sit at the city gate. He disappeared. What do you know about 
his disappearance?

HAROLD - Oh, he didn't disappear.

COP ---- Wrong answer. (whack)

HAROLD - (groans)

COP ---- Alright, let me ask you again. Where is Harold Nillman.

HAROLD - I'm Harold Nillman.

COP ---- Wrong answer. (whack)

HAROLD - (groans) I think I'll change my name.

COP ---- Alright, if you are Harold Nillman, how did you get 
your sight back?

HAROLD - It was Jesus of Nazareth. He healed me.

COP ---- Did he use surgery or medicine?

HAROLD - Neither. He used dirt and spit.

COP ---- Wrong answer. (whack)

HAROLD - (groans) Am I not supposed to use the word SPIT in 
public?

COP ---- You expect me to believe a doctor would use dirt and 
spit to cure blindness?

HAROLD - Oh, Jesus is not a doctor.

COP ---- He cured your blindness, but he's not a doctor?

HAROLD - No. He's a rabbi.

COP ---- A rabbi. So, it was a spiritual healing?

HAROLD - Yeah, I guess so.

COP ---- Now we're getting somewhere!

HAROLD - Can I go now?

COP ---- If it was a spiritual healing, that means that either 
you or your parents have been involved with big time sin. So, 
what are you covering up?

HAROLD - Nothing. 

COP ---- Wrong answer. (whack)

HAROLD - (groans) We always thought that the blindness was cause 
by sin. But Jesus said that the reason I was blind was so that 
he might heal me and prove that he is the messiah.

COP ---- The messiah?! Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe 
that Jesus is the messiah.

HAROLD - Yes?

COP ---- Wrong answer. (whack)

HAROLD - (groans) I'd like to change my story. This one doesn't 
seem to be working.

COP ---- That's more like it. Alright, shoot.

HAROLD - Well, first of all, my name IS Harold Nillman, but I'm 
still blind. (stands, moves to exit with arms forward) I have to 
get back to the city gate now, so I can beg for money.

COP ---- (follows, whacks Harold as both exit) Wrong answer.


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