BACK LEPERS 4'3m0f Jesus cures 10 lepers without going near them JESUS -- (enters, strolls across stage with arms behind back) FRED --- (wimpy, follows, looks around, suddenly looks as if he's discovered something) Ooo! (runs ahead of Jesus, turns holds up hands, stopping Jesus DC) Oh, ah, Jesus?! I think we're going in the wrong direction. JESUS -- No. (points ahead) We're going into this town to spend the night. FRED --- I know you're the rabbi and I'm just a disciple, Jesus. But I know this neighborhood. And you don't want to go there. (points) JESUS -- I don't? FRED --- No. See, this town is on the edge of Samaria. JESUS -- Yeah, so? FRED --- So, there's a lot of THOSE people in this town. (points) JESUS -- THOSE people. FRED --- (looks both ways, shivers) Samaritans. (shivers, looks nauseated) JESUS -- Samaritans. FRED --- Makes my skin crawl just to think of them. Anyway, this is not a very nice town. We should (points back to entrance, tries to push Jesus back) maybe go back to... JESUS -- (resists, points ahead) What's the matter with this town? FRED --- Well, for one thing, I'm sure they don't have any dispensers with those little paper toilet seat covers. And for another thing, the bed you sleep in has probably been slept in by a (whispers) Samaritan. Doesn't it just give you the creeps? JESUS -- No. FRED --- It doesn't? JESUS -- They all need to hear the Gospel, don't they? FRED --- The gospel. Yes, of course. (turns, looks ahead) Well, then perhaps we should go into town another way. (points upstage, begins walking upstage, motioning Jesus to follow) JESUS -- Why? FRED --- To avoid that group of men up ahead there. (points ahead) JESUS -- (resists) Why do you want to avoid them? FRED --- Well, anyone can see they have leprosy. ED ----- (shouts from offstage) Jesus, Master, have pity on us! FRED --- Let's just go... (points upstage, begins walking upstage, motioning Jesus to follow) JESUS -- (to Fred) Why? You've cured lepers before. FRED --- Yeah, maybe onesy, twosy. But never so many. (points upstage) Let's just go around to... JESUS -- (resists) What difference does it make how many of them there are? FRED --- (points ahead, counts lepers) One, two, three, four five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. There are ten of them. My personal best is two at a time. And quite frankly the ones I cured didn't look that bad. Can you see the open sores on some of those men are oozing? (shivers) Makes my skin crawl just to think of it. (points upstage) Let's just go around to.... JESUS -- (resists) Wait a minute. (holds hand in air, shouts to lepers offstage) Go! Show yourself to the priests. FRED --- (smiles broadly, pats Jesus on shoulder) Oh, very clever! They're going away! I never thought of that! (stops smiling, shakes finger at Jesus) But I can tell you right now, the priests won't want to have a thing to do with them either. And then they'll come right back here again begging to be cured. (points ahead) See? What did I tell you? Here comes one now. ED ----- (enters, arms outstretched, crosses to Jesus) Oh, thank you master. Thank you. FRED --- (backing away) You, keep your distance. (retreats behind Jesus) Jesus, do something. He's not keeping his distance. JESUS -- Of course not, he's been cured. FRED --- He has?! (observes cautiously) How could he be cured? You didn't even touch him. ED ----- (kissing Jesus' feet) Oh, thank you, Jesus, son of the most high God! FRED --- Jesus, how can you stand that?! JESUS -- Stand what? FRED --- Having him touch you like that. JESUS -- His leprosy has been cured. FRED --- Well, okay, but this one is a SAMARITAN. Yuk. JESUS -- (looks around, shouts) Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? ED ----- I don't know, master. We were all cured the moment you told us to show ourselves to the priests. FRED --- You were?! Well, I'll be... (still hiding behind Jesus) Let me see your hands. ED ----- (pushes self up to kneeling position, holds out hands) FRED --- Well, I'll be... ED ----- Is it not a trivial matter for the one who spoke the universe into existence to cure a few lepers? FRED --- Trivial. Yes, of course. Frankly, I can understand curing the Jews. But this man is a... (disgusted, whispers) ...a SAMARITAN! JESUS -- (looks around, shouts) Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner? ED ----- The scriptures tell us that through the seed of Abraham the nations of the world would be blessed. FRED --- Who does he think he is quoting scripture, as if he were a Jew? ED ----- We Samaritans can trace our lineage back to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. FRED --- Yes, but you intermarried with those disgusting pagans. It makes my skin crawl just to think of it. JESUS -- (holds up hand) Rise and go; your faith has made you well. ED ----- (rises, exits backward, bowing several times) Thank you, master. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. FRED --- Jesus, couldn't you be just a little more selective about who you cure? JESUS -- (following Ed to exit) In the kingdom of God there is neither Greek nor Jew, slave nor free, male nor female. FRED --- (left standing alone on stage, pondering, then exits) Oh, now wait just one minute! You're not actually thinking about letting WOMEN into the Kingdom, are you? (shivers) It makes my skin crawl just to think of it. ©2008 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: bob@bobsnook.org BACK |