AHAZIAH2 4'1m*f RT: Elijah predicts Ahaziah's death

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience.)

ELIJAH -- (enters wearing fur tunic, headress and sandals,
crosses to podium) I am Elijah, a prophet of our Lord God
Almighty. The reason I called this press conference is to
announce the death of Ahaziah King of Israel. Since King Ahaziah
has no sons, Joram his brother will ascend to the throne of
Israel. That's all I have. (turns)

REPORTER -- Elijah, may we ask you a few questions?

ELIJAH -- Sure. (turns)

REPORTER -- We had heard that Ahaziah was injured in a fall, but
noone in the palace mentioned that he was near death. When did
he die?

ELIJAH -- He hasn't died yet. But he will.

REPORTER -- You're announcing his death in advance?!

ELIJAH -- It's the least I can do after all the damage Ahaziah
has done to Israel.

REPORTER -- How can you be so sure this will happen?

ELIJAH -- I'm a prophet of God. God told me to tell King Ahaziah
that he would never leave his bed alive. I've told Ahaziah and
now I'm telling you.

REPORTER -- Are you saying that King Ahaziah's death is
punishment for some sin he committed?

ELIJAH -- SinS. Plural. King Ahaziah apparently didn't learn any
lessons from the deaths of his father King Ahab and his mother
Jezebel. He has encouraged the worship of foreign gods in all
the high places in Israel. But I guess the straw that broke the
camel's back was Ahaziah's reaction to his recent injury.
Instead of sending for me to ask him if he would recover from
his injuries, Ahaziah sent for the priest of Baal-Zebub, the god
of Ekron. He deserves to die. Ahaziah has completely forgotten
that it was Jehovah the creator of the universe who drove out
Israel's enemies and kept us safe from invasion. God won't allow
the leader of his own people to act as if he no longer matters.

REPORTER -- Elijah, while we have your attention, may we have
your opinion about an unrelated matter?

ELIJAH -- What unrelated matter?

REPORTER -- Two different squads of fifty soldiers from the
palace were burned to death and their bodies were reduced to
ashes recently. Is this the result of some secret weapon in the
hands of our enemies the moabites?

ELIJAH -- No. That was me.

REPORTER -- That was you?!

REPORTER -- You incinerated over a hundred well armed soldiers
single handedly?!

ELIJAH -- Well, don't forget, I'm a prophet of God. Actually, it
was God himself who sent fire and brimstone from Heaven. I
merely warned them that it was coming.

REPORTER -- Why would God do such a thing?!

ELIJAH -- The soldiers didn't come to me for a social visit.
King Ahaziah sent them to bring me back to the palace. His
intention was to have me revoke the curse of death I put on him
earlier. I'm quite sure that the king would have had me tortured
to have the curse removed. The Lord God of Israel killed the
soldiers to prevent Ahaziah from torturing me.

REPORTER -- Wouldn't it have been easier to remove the curse
than to kill over 100 soldiers?

ELIJAH -- Easier? Yes. Just? No. I have studied the ancient
scriptures and I can't find a single incident where God gave a
guilty party a reprieve, UNLESS the guilty party repented. And I
can assure you that Ahaziah still has not repented. That's why
he will die as predicted. My hope is that Ahaziah's brother
Joram will learn from the mistakes of the past when he ascends
the throne.

Thank you all for coming.


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