MTSINAI  3'2m0f Moses and Aaron receive the ten commandments

(Moses and Aaron enter, immediately a loud air horn blasts)

AARON -- Moses! What was that?!

MOSES -- That was the Lord talking, Aaron.

AARON -- (holds ears) Can't he whisper?

MOSES -- He's the Lord. He can talk as loud as he wants to.

AARON -- Well, I can't understand a thing he's saying.

MOSES -- That's because he's not talking to you. He's talking to 

AARON -- Moses the big shot. Always talking to the Lord. How 
come he never talks to me?

(horn blast)

(holds ears) What's he saying now?

MOSES -- He wants you and me to set foot on the mountain. 
(points to opposite end of stage)

AARON -- (ducks behind Moses) Oh, no, you don't.

MOSES -- Why not?

AARON -- (points above opposite end of stage) You saw what he 
just did to the mountain. He burned the top right off of it. 
Look, it's still smoking. And you want me to go up there?

MOSES -- Oh, that was just a warning to the others not to set 
foot on the sacred mountain. 

AARON -- What happens if someone sets foot on the mountain?

MOSES -- We have to stone them to death.

AARON -- (turns to exit) See ya.

MOSES -- (grabs Aaron's arm) Wait a minute! That doesn't mean 
you! You're Aaron, the priest. He invited you.

AARON -- What does he want me for?

MOSES -- Lunch.

AARON -- (turns to exit) See ya.

MOSES -- (grabs Aaron's arm) Wait a minute. I was just kidding. 
He's going to give us the ten commandments.

AARON -- (turns to exit) I just remembered, I left something on 
the stove. Bye.

MOSES -- (grabs Aaron's arm) Get back here. Listen, if you don't 
go with me, the ground might open up and swallow you.

AARON -- (Throws arms around Moses' neck, puts one leg up in 
Moses' arm) Where?!

MOSES -- Get off me! (drops Aaron's leg, pries Aaron's arms off 

AARON -- (shaking, looks around) I don't see any cracks, do you?

MOSES -- Of course you don't see any cracks. 

AARON -- (pokes self in several places) I'm still alive!

MOSES -- Of course you're still alive. I didn't say the ground 
WOULD swallow you up. I said it might -- IF you don't go with 
me. (points across stage)

AARON -- Alright, I'll go. But do we have to go all the way to 
the top? (points up) It's still smoking up there. It looks hot.

MOSES -- No, we just have to go a few feet further. (begins to 
cross, stops, turns) Come on. (resumes)

AARON -- (follows) Okay, but if I die I'll never speak to you 

(horn blast)

Oh, man, tell him to turn down the volume or give us ear plugs!

MOSES -- The Lord is speaking again.

AARON -- What's he saying?


MOSES -- He's giving us the ten commandments. (points finger at 
Aaron as he looks to the Lord) Write this down. "You shall have 
no other gods before me." Did you get that?

AARON -- What do you mean, did I get that?

MOSES -- (looks back) Didn't you write it down?

AARON -- No. I didn't bring a pen and paper.

MOSES -- Oh, man!

AARON -- Well, I'm a sculptor, not a secretary. What am I gonna 
do with a pen and paper?

MOSES -- Well, what HAVE you got to write with?

AARON -- Nothing.

MOSES -- What's in your apron there.

AARON -- A hammer and a chisel. I'm a sculptor, remember?

MOSES -- Okay chisel God's words into these rocks here. (points 
to Rock on corner of stage)

AARON -- You're kidding.


MOSES -- Hurry, he's giving us another commandment.

AARON -- (kneels behind rock) Okay. Here goes. (pulls out hammer 
and chisel, plinks on upstage side of rock. plink, plink, plink, 
plink, continues to end of sketch)

MOSES -- Okay, here's the second commandment. "You shall not 
make for yourself any idols and you shall not bow down to 
idols." Got that?

AARON -- (plink, plink, plink) T... H... E... Huh?

MOSES -- I said did you get that?

AARON -- Say, do you want the number TEN in Arabic or Roman 

MOSES -- Oh, brother.

AARON -- What.

MOSES -- (turns back toward exit) You keep working. I'll be 
right back.

AARON -- Where are you going?

MOSES -- (walking backward) I'm going to tell my wife I'll be 
late for dinner.

AARON -- Roman numerals are nice. (shouts) How do you spell 

MOSES -- (turns, exiting) I'll tell her to hold breakfast too.

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