BACK NINEVEH 4'1m*f RT: Jonah and the whale (RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization, little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are salted throughout the audience.) JONAH -- (enters wearing tunic, headdress and sandals, crosses to podium, unrolls scroll, reads) My name is Jonah son of Amittai. I am a Hebrew prophet from the land of Canaan. The reason I called this press conference is to announce a change of plans from the Lord God himself regarding the city of Nineveh. God says he will NOT destroy your city after all. I hope you're happy now. (rolls up scroll, turns) REPORTER -- Jonah. Jonah, may we ask you a few questions? JONAH -- (turns) If you must. REPORTER -- When you warned us 40 days ago to repent, you saved 120,000 lives. Are you aware of that? JONAH -- I'm aware of that. REPORTER -- But you don't seem to be too happy about it. JONAH -- I'm not. REPORTER -- Why not? JONAH -- Forty days ago I prophesied that the City of Nineveh and everyone in it would be destroyed. I never said anything about repentance! But you repented! And God relented. Now the Lord looks like the compassionate one and I look like the bad guy! I knew this would happen! REPORTER -- Is it true you refused to come here to Nineveh when the Lord God first told you to? JONAH -- I wouldn't exactly say REFUSED! I may have ACCIDENTALLY taken the wrong boat to get here. REPORTER -- There's nothing but dry desert between the land of Canaan and Nineveh. Why would you need to take a boat at all? JONAH -- Well, it was just a little mix up. That's all. REPORTER -- "A mix-up" you say? JONAH -- Yes. REPORTER -- What possible mix-up would cause you to take a boat to cross a desert? JONAH -- See, I thought the Lord God told me to go preach against TARSHISH. The two names sound alike. REPORTER -- TARSHISH sounds like NINEVEH? JONAH -- Alright! I'll admit it! I was scared to death of you Ninevites. Your wickedness is legendary. I didn't want to have anything to do with you! REPORTER -- Well, if you got on a boat to Tarshish, how did you end up in Nineveh? JONAH -- The Lord God found me on the boat and sent a horrible storm over the sea. The boat's crew knew I was a prophet of God and immediately knew that the storm was sent to punish me for my disobedience. REPORTER -- Did the boat's crew turn the boat around? JONAH -- No. The crew of the boat threw me in to the sea. REPORTER -- They threw a prophet of God into the sea?! JONAH -- It was a sacrifice. You see the Lord God requires that if someone sins, there has to be a sacrifice for the sin. It's a little difficult to explain now. It will be a little easier to explain when the Lord God himself sacrifices himself for the sins of the world in a few years. REPORTER -- You don't mean a literal sacrifice. JONAH -- Yes. REPORTER -- Well, the Lord God obviously didn't sacrifice you, you're here, alive, breathing and talking. JONAH -- Yes, he did. I was dead for three days in the belly of a fish. And after three days the Lord God raised me from the dead when the fish vomited me onto dry land. This three-days of death will also happen when the Lord God himself sacrifices himself for the sins of ALL mankind some time in the future. In fact, repeating history is so important to God that He will probably come from Galilee as I did just to let everyone know that HE is the sacrifice for our sins. REPORTER -- So, it's a miracle that you're here! JONAH -- Exactly. REPORTER -- But you're not the least bit grateful. JONAH -- Well, now that you put it that way, I guess being the bad guy who prophesied death to Nineveh is better than being dead. Actually, I guess it's way better. Now that you mention it, I guess I'll rejoice with the rest of you that our God is a god of mercy. Thanks for listening. (exits) �2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |