PREGNANT 5'1m*f RT: Abraham announces Sarah's pregnancy

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience.)

ABRAHAM -- (enters wearing tunic, headress and sandals, crosses
to podium bent over and using a walking stick to steady himself)
Good Morning. My name is Abraham son of Terah. Today I have the
pleasure of announcing the long awaited pregnancy of my wife
Sarah. As many of you know, this pregnancy was predicted many
years ago by the Lord. The baby will be a boy and his name will
be Isaac.

REPORTER -- If your wife just became pregnant, how do you know
already that it will be a boy?

ABRAHAM -- If the Lord predicted ten years in advance that a
baron woman will give birth to a baby, is it so much more
difficult for Him to predict the sex of the child?

REPORTER -- You mentioned that the Lord specified that the baby
be named Isaac?

ABRAHAM -- That's right.

REPORTER -- Isaac is Hebrew for LAUGHTER. Why would the Lord
specify the name LAUGHTER?

ABRAHAM -- Ten years ago, when the Lord first predicted that my
wife would become pregnant, she laughed.

REPORTER -- Why did she laugh?

ABRAHAM -- At that time, Sarah was not only unable to bear
children, but she was also about thirty years beyond
childbearing age. She thought the Lord was joking.

REPORTER -- And now, at forty years past childbearing age, Sarah
is going to give birth?

ABRAHAM -- That's right.

REPORTER -- How do you explain that?

ABRAHAM -- Well, I think it's obvious. The same God who
predicted the pregnancy also miraculously created the pregnancy.

REPORTER -- Abraham, you already have a son named Ishmael, whom
you previously touted as the fulfillment of the Lord's

ABRAHAM -- What can I say? We were wrong! We grew impatient of
waiting for a pregnancy in Sarah, so we took matters into our
own hands. I fathered a child with my wife's maid servant as
tradition prescribed. But as many of you know, the traditions of
men are often in conflict with the will of God.

REPORTER -- It looks as if you now have two firstborn sons. How
will you decide who inherits the rights of the firstborn son?

ABRAHAM -- First, let me say that the Lord has big plans for the
son of Sarah's maid servant. The Lord has predicted that Ishmael
will be the father of many great nations in the future. But the
Lord has even larger plans for my son Isaac and it will be Isaac
who will inherit the rights of the firstborn, even though he is
not the first one born.

REPORTER -- Why is the Lord going against tradition?

ABRAHAM -- Because conferring special rights on the firstborn
son is a tradition of man, not of God. Giving a child special
status because of the order of his birth is superficial. It
means nothing to God.

REPORTER -- Are you saying that this is the beginning of the end
for the rights of the firstborn?

ABRAHAM -- Unfortunately, people will continue to ignore God's
will and give special importance to their firstborn sons. But
the Lord looks deeper than the order of one's birth. He sees
what's in the heart of a man. The Lord will give the rights of
the firstborn to the man whose heart is right toward God.

REPORTER -- Are you saying that there will be more second-born
sons in the future who will be given firstborn status?

ABRAHAM -- As a matter of fact, it will be even more extreme
than that. The Lord has predicted that Isaac is the first in the
line of many descendants who will one day give birth to the
savior of mankind. Among these descendants will be a
second-born, an eighth-born and a seventh-born.

REPORTER -- Is it true that you plan to circumcise Isaac?

ABRAHAM -- On the eighth day after his birth.

REPORTER -- This is a new ritual.

ABRAHAM -- Yes. It was demanded by the Lord of Isaac and all his

REPORTER -- Why would the Lord demand such a bloody ritual?

ABRAHAM -- To remind all of Isaac's descendants that they are in
the chain of descendants to the savior of mankind.

REPORTER -- But there are less painful reminders.

ABRAHAM -- That's true. But the Lord chose a reminder that
carries a description of the savior: the cutting off of the
flesh in circumcision is a reminder that the savior will shed
his blood for us and will himself be cut off.

REPORTER -- Cut off? You mean die?

ABRAHAM -- The savior will be born of man to pay for the sins of
man. And the only payment for sins is the shedding of blood. The
circumcision of Isaac and his descendants will be a constant
prediction of that sacrifice. And I thank the Lord that I can
play a small part in that prediction. Thank you all for coming.


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