REHOBOAM 2'3m0f Son of Solomon reluctantly discusses Proverbs

(teenager enters with two companions, pulls cell phone out of 
backpack, dials number, puts it to ear)

Hello, is this the royal palace?

Good. I need to talk to my Dad.

King Solomon, yeah.

Hi, Dad. Say listen, the guys and me...

This is your son. See the guys and me...

I know you have a hundred and forty three sons...

It's Rehoboam, Dad. See, the guys and me...

Your oldest son. The heir to the throne. Remember? (covers 
phone, rolls eyes, to friends)  Dah!

(uncovers phone) Rehoboam, that's right, Dad.

No, not many fathers end up with seven hundred wives. So, Dad let
me tell you why I called...

(rolls eyes) Well, congratulations, Dad. It's not every day you 
publish a new book. But...

Ecclesiastes. Yes, I remember that book. How could I forget. You
made me read the manuscript. But....

What to I think? A best seller? Well, listen, Dad, don't get
your hopes up.

Why? Well, because it's kind of a downer, Dad. You write off all
the good stuff in life as meaningless. 

A downer, yeah. Now, if you write could write another book like
that Song of Songs, now there was a best seller. They're still
scribbling quotes from that book on the men's room walls.

Yeah. Well, listen, Dad, I'd love to sit on the phone and chat 
but me and the guys want to go over to the mall and...

Yeah, to play few games, ...scope out the babes...

Yeah, well, I'd like to hear about the ideas for your next book,
Dad, but the guys and I are...

You're going to write your next book for me? For me 
personally? Oh, that's great, Dad, but...

Proverbs. Oh, that's an interesting title. (covers phone) Not. 

So, about the mall, do you think me and the guys could...

Prepared? Am I prepared for what, Dad?

What would I say if a woman came up to me at the mall asked me to
go home with her?

Well, I would have to choose between two carefully worded
responses. I would either say "Yeah, Mama!" or "Oh, Baby, Baby!"

Dad, does this mean I don't get the keys to the chariot?

Dad? Hello?

(puts away phone, exiting)

Well, it looks like we walk to the mall, guys.

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