PROMO2   4'*m1f RT: Generalized promo to advertise church event

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience.)

SECRETARY -- (enters dressed in business suit, carrying file
folder, crosses to podium) Good Morning. For a change, this
morning's White House press briefing will actually be BRIEF.
Because most of YOU will be leaving with the president in a few
minutes on Airforce One to attend the G-8 conference in Geneva,
here is the agenda for the G-8 conference.... (reads)

REPORTER -- What can you tell us about ________________________?

SECRETARY -- Excuse me?

REPORTER -- What can you tell us about ________________________?

SECRETARY -- I was talking about the G-8.

REPORTER -- I'm sure that my readers would rather read about
________________________ (event).

SECRETARY -- Well, I'm not prepared to comment on
________________________ (event) at this time.

REPORTER -- Does the president have something to hide about his
involvement with ____________________________? (event)

SECRETARY -- The president has nothing to do with
________________________ (event).

REPORTER -- Then why won't you comment on it?

SECRETARY -- I thought ______________________________ (event)
was common knowledge. Everybody knows that
____________________________ (event) begins at
____________________________ (date and time) and goes until
_____________________________ (date and time) with
______________________________ (special accommodations) and
______________________________ (special inducements). Doesn't
everyone know that?!

REPORTER -- So, you're denying that the President has any
personal involvement with _________________________________
(event) whatsoever?

SECRETARY -- None whatsoever.

REPORTER -- Then how do you explain the fact that
________________________ (event) is now national news?

SECRETARY -- I'm sorry, I can't explain it. Maybe it's the
________________________ (event selling point) or the
________________________ (event selling point) or....

REPORTER -- And the President has had no influence on these

SECRETARY -- No involvement whatsoever.

REPORTER -- What about the _________________________ (event
selling point)?

SECRETARY -- No involvement whatsoever.

REPORTER -- Are you saying that NOONE in the White House was
involved with these decisions?

SECRETARY -- I can say categorically that noone in the White
House was in any way involved with these decisions.

REPORTER -- Then how do you explain ___________________________?
(event selling point)

SECRETARY -- Perhaps _______________________ (event chairman or
pastor) took _______________________ (event type) seriously and
wanted the event to be the best ever.

REPORTER -- Then, how do you explain the reasonable price of the
event? My sources tell me that the price is only ______________.
(admission price) Are you saying that no government money was
funnelled to this event?

SECRETARY -- Not one penny.

REPORTER -- Then how do you explain the reasonable price?

SECRETARY -- I call it good stewardship. (looks at watch) Now,
Airforce One will be taking off in a few minutes. Can we get
back to the G-8 conference?

REPORTER -- One question?


REPORTER -- Will the President be attending?

SECRETARY -- Didn't I just say that his plane leaves this

REPORTER -- No. I mean ____________________________. (event)
Will the president be attending ____________________________?

SECRETARY -- No. He will be unable to leave the G-8 conference
early in order to attend ___________________________. (event)

REPORTER -- How about the first lady?

SECRETARY -- What about the first lady?

REPORTER -- Will the first lady be attending
___________________________? (event)

SECRETARY -- No. (sighs) Doesn't ANYbody have any questions
about the G-8 conference?!

REPORTER -- I have a question about the G-8 conference.

SECRETARY -- (points) Good. Let's hear your question.

REPORTER -- Do you think the president or anyone in the White
House will be criticized for scheduling the G-8 conference at
the same time as _______________________? (event)

SECRETARY -- (sighs) This press conference is adjourned. (exits)

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