ROOFLEAK 2'?m2f Promo for roof repair 

AMY -- (enters carrying clipboard, crosses)

LIZ -- (follows) Excuse me. 

AMY -- (turns) Yes?

LIZ -- Where do I report a miracle?

AMY -- A miracle?

LIZ -- Yes, a miracle happened in this very church.

AMY -- It did? When?

LIZ -- Just now.

AMY -- How nice! Tell me about it.

LIZ -- Well, did you see that movie with George Burns and John 
Denver called "Oh, God"?

AMY -- Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. But that was just a 

LIZ -- ....Well, do you remember in that movie where George 
Burns showed that he was God by making it rain on John Denver 
inside the car?

AMY -- Yes, I guess I do remember that, but...

LIZ -- You remember, it was bright and sunny outside but the 
rain came pouring down on that poor John Denver?

AMY -- Yes, but...

LIZ -- Well, that miracle just happened to me.

AMY -- To you.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- In your car?

LIZ -- No, right here it the church. (bows head, points to top 
of head) Look. See the wet spots here and here?

AMY -- Well, yes, but....

LIZ -- A miracle happened right here in this church! Do you 
think we ought to call the Guinness Book of World Records?

AMY -- No.

LIZ -- No?

AMY -- No. This wasn't a miracle.

LIZ -- It wasn't?

AMY -- No. 

LIZ -- (points to head) But I have proof right here....

AMY -- ....It's raining outside.

LIZ -- Well, it could still be a miracle....

AMY -- The roof leaks.

LIZ -- Excuse me?

AMY -- I said the roof leaks.

LIZ -- So, there's no miracle?

AMY -- Not this time.

LIZ -- Well, we should do something, shouldn't we?

AMY -- Yes, we should. We should get offstage so these nice 
people can tell us how we can help fix the roof. (guides Liz to 

LIZ -- I would have sworn it was a miracle.

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