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SERGEANT 2'1m4f Salvation: being good is not good enough

(four privates enter, carrying Bibles, chatting, end up DC)

Sarg -- (enters briskly, shouts) Come to attention, you low 
lifes.

(They snap to attention in a straight row)

P1 -- Permission to speak, Sergeant?

Sarg -- Permission granted, dog face.

P1 -- What are you doing here? Where's the chaplain, Sergeant?

Sarg -- (parades back and forth behind Privates) The chaplain 
was called away for an emergency. He asked me to lead your Bible 
study tonight. (pokes head between P2,P3) That's alright, isn't 
it, soldiers?

All -- Sir, yes, sir.

Sarg -- (resumes parading) I can't hear you.

All -- (shout) Sir, yes, sir.

Sarg -- Parade rest.

(They spread their legs, arms behind back in unison)

Present Bibles.

(They raise their Bibles, open in unison)

(reads note from pocket) Romans Chapter three....FIND.

(Three privates find Romans 3 after two page turns. P2 fumbles.
Sarg steps over and yells in P2's ear.)

What are you doing, scum bucket!?

P2 -- I can't find Romans...

Sarg -- You what?!

P2 -- I mean, I can't find Romans, SIR!

Sarg -- We don't have all day, private.

P2 -- No sir.

Sarg -- What was that?

P2 -- (shouts) Sir, no sir!

Sarg -- (in P3's ear) Private help this low life find Romans 3.

P3 -- Sir, yes, sir.

(turns P2's Bible to Romans 3)

Sarg -- (reads note from pocket) Verse 23. (in P4's ear) What 
does it say, private?

P4 -- For all have sinned and all fall short of the glory of
God, SIR.

Sarg -- All?!

P4 -- (Petrified, studies the passage, points to the passage)

Sir, yes, sir.

Sarg -- Sergeants don't sin, Private. Would you like to drop
and give me fifty push ups?

P4 -- Sir, no, sir.

Sarg -- What?

P4 -- Sir, yes, sir.

(Drops and starts pushups)

P1 -- Permission to speak sir?

Sarg -- Permission granted, dog breath.

P1 -- My Bible says the same thing, Sergeant.

Sarg -- Well, then, it's wrong. Privates may sin, but Sergeants
don't sin.

P1 -- Isaiah 53:6 confirms what the private read, sir. 

(points at his Bible)

We all, like sheep have gone astray. Each of us has
turned to his own way.

Sarg -- Alright, private, stand up.

P4 -- (stands) Sir, yes, sir. 

Sarg -- (resumes parading) Okay, so we all sin. What's the 
difference?

P2 -- Romans six....

(They all turn to Romans six, P2 realizes that he spoke out of
turn)

SIR.

Sarg -- (in P2's ear) What about Romans six, you hair ball?

P3 -- Romans 6:23... For the wages of sin is death....SIR.

Sarg -- (in P3's ear) Death? Drop and give me fifty pushups, 
private.

P3 -- Sir, yes, sir. (drops)

P1 -- Permission to read Romans 5:8, SIR?

Sarg -- This better be good, slime ball, or you'll be doing
pushups, too.

P1 -- But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
while we were still sinners Christ died for us, SIR.

Sarg -- That's enough pushups, private. 

P3 -- Sir, yes, sir. (stands up)

Sarg -- (parades behind privates) I lead a pretty good life. I 
don't smoke, I don't drink, I'm faithful to my wife.

P2 --  Titus 3:5... He saved us, not because of righteous
things we had done but because of his mercy. SIR.

Sarg -- (points to P2's Bible, shouts in P2's ear) Us? Who is 
this US, private?

P4 -- John 1:12

(Sarg looks over P4's shoulder as he reads)

Yet, to ALL who received him, to those who believed in
his name HE gave the right to become children of God.
Sir.

Sarg -- (points, shouts in P4's ear) He? 

P1 -- Jesus Christ, Sir.

P3 -- He died and rose again. He's alive, sir.

Sarg -- (points, shouts in P3's ear) Received him?

P3 -- Sure. You just pray and ask him to be your commanding
officer, Sergeant.

Sarg -- (looks around nervously, clears his throats)

Yes, well I guess this Bible study is over. Attention.
Close Bibles. Order Bibles. Left Face. Forward Harch.

(All privates obey smartly, march to exit, smiling)

Hup, hup, hup two three four. 

(As soon as they're safely out of sight, Sarg kneels,
prays, lights dim to dark)


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