SIMPLE   5'2m?f Christian priorities, family: keep it simple

MEX -- (Mexican enters wearing work clothes, straw hat, carrying
fishing rod, tackle box, crosses)

TEX -- (tourist, follows carrying yellow legal pad and one
typewritten page, shouts) Excuse me, sir... senior'.

MEX -- (stops, turn) Si?

TEX -- Do you habla Ingles'?

MEX -- Si, I speak English.

TEX -- Oh, good. (speaks slowly and carefully) I want to talk to
you about fishing.

MEX -- Fishing?

TEX -- Yes. I...

MEX -- ...You need to talk to the sport fishing people in the
harbor. (nods toward audience)

TEX -- Sport fishing.

MEX -- Si.

TEX -- Oh, no! I don't want to go fishing! I want to talk to you
about your fishing business.

MEX -- My fishing business?

TEX -- Yes. Si. I have been watching you since I arrived
here in Mexico three days ago....

MEX -- (backs away) I have nothing to do with the drug runners,

TEX -- Oh, no. I'm not from the D.E.A. I'm a business
consultant. (pulls business card from pocket shows it to Mex) 
See? I'm a Harvard M.B.A.. I make businesses more EFFICIENT.
EFFICIENT. (to self) What's the Spanish word for efficient?

MEX -- You are not from the "federales'"?

TEX -- No. Oh, no.

MEX -- What do you want from me?

TEX -- Like I said, while I've been lying on the beach, I have
been watching how you work.

MEX -- If my boat is in your way, I could move it farther down
the beach, senior'?

TEX -- No! No! Actually, I was admiring your work, how you catch
such big fish and so many of them!

MEX -- Oh. I see. Thank you. (turns to exit)

TEX -- (reaches) What I want to say...

MEX -- (turns) Yes?

TEX -- (holds up yellow legal pad) I've been taking notes.

MEX -- I'm not breaking any law, am I?

TEX -- No. No. The notes I've been taking are regarding the
efficiency and productivity of your fishing operation.

MEX -- (shrugs)

TEX -- For instance, (reads) I've noticed that you and those two
boys spend between a half hour and forty-five minutes each day
digging worms in your garden.

MEX -- Those are my sons. They are good boys.

TEX -- Yes. Then, (reads) I've noticed that you and your... sons
get into your boat and spend at least an hour rowing the boat in
order to get out to the place where you do the fishing.

MEX -- Yes.

TEX -- Then you fish only for two or three hours in the morning
and take the afternoon off.

MEX -- (restless) Yes. We come home for lunch and siesta...
How you say... we take a nap.

TEX -- Let me get to the bottom line.

MEX -- The bottom line?

TEX -- The reason I'm talking to you. I've spent some of my
vacation time writing a business plan for you. (offers
typewritten page)

MEX -- A business plan?

TEX -- Yes, to expand your business.

MEX -- Expand my business?

TEX -- Yes.

MEX -- Why would I want to do that?

TEX -- Well, look here, for instance. (reads) If you bought your
bait from a bate shop instead of spending two and a quarter
man-hours digging worms, you and your boys could spend 20% more
time fishing.

MEX -- But digging the worms also cultivates the garden.

TEX -- Well, with the extra income you make from fishing
instead of digging worms, you could hire someone to cultivate
your garden.

MEX -- Why would I want to do that?

TEX -- Look, your bread and butter is fishing. I've noticed that
you catch more fish and larger fish than anyone else in the

MEX -- Yes, I do.

TEX -- So, your business plan should include ways to put you in
fishing mode.

MEX -- Fishing mode.

TEX -- Yes, my business plan for you includes buying a larger
boat and an outboard motor to get you out to your fishing
grounds faster, so you spend more time fishing and catch more

MEX -- But I have no money to buy a motor boat.

TEX -- (points to page) That's why you need a business plan. All
you have to do is take this business plan to the bank and they
will LOAN you the money!

MEX -- You want me to BORROW money?

TEX -- Yes, the increase in productivity from a motor boat will
allow you to catch more fish, so you can pay off the loan. But
here's the best part about this business plan. If you extend
your fishing from a half day to all-day, you could buy three new
boats, one for each of you. And as you can see from these
figures, with the added income from three motor boats, you could
expand again within a few months and buy a whole fleet of motor
boats. Your ultimate goal, of course, is to franchise the

MEX -- Franchise?

TEX -- Yes, that means people will pay you to teach them how to
get rich in the fishing business. You'll be rolling in the

MEX -- Rolling in the dough.

TEX -- That means you'll have more money than you know what to
do with.

MEX -- Why do I need so much money?

TEX -- So you can kick back and take it easy, spend time with
your wife and kids, take naps in the afternoon, work in your

MEX -- ...But I already do those things, senior'. (exits)

TEX -- You're right. (crumples paper) Nevermind. (exiting
opposite) Boy! Expansion really looked good on paper!
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