BACK VIDEO 3'?m7f Salvation, Heaven, sin, forgiveness, judgement (four non-speaking actors enter singly carrying video tape cartridges, cross to far exit, stand single file in line facing exit) AMY -- (enters carrying video tape, crosses, stands at end of line) LIZ -- (enters backward, carrying video tape) What happened?! Where am I?! (crosses) Excuse me? Excuse me? Can you tell me where on earth I am? AMY -- (turns) You're not. LIZ -- I'm not... what? AMY -- You're not on earth. LIZ -- That's very funny. AMY -- Yeah. I'm a riot. (turns) LIZ -- Why are you carrying that video tape? AMY -- (turns) Same reason you are. LIZ -- (lifts tape in surprise) Oh, I have one too. What on earth is going on here? AMY -- I think we already discussed that. LIZ -- I'm sorry, you lost me. AMY -- I told you. You're not on earth. LIZ -- Don't be ridiculous! Of course I'm on.... (pauses, looks around) Oh, no! Don't tell me... AMY -- I don't know what good it would do. You don't listen when I tell you anyway. LIZ -- (points to exit past the front of the line) Listen, just so we're all on the same page, that big shiny white round door... That wouldn't just happen to be the pearly gate, would it? AMY -- You're really good at deduction.... for someone so dense. LIZ -- And that person beside the pearly gate, that wouldn't just happened to be Saint Peter, would it? AMY -- Two in a row. A marvel of deduction. LIZ -- So, this is... Heaven. AMY -- One more correct answer and you win a free toaster. LIZ -- That means I'm.... dead. AMY -- Genius. Sheer genius. LIZ -- So, what's this (lifts tape) video tape for? AMY -- Heaven has gone high tech. No more angels writing down your sins with quill pens on parchment. Today's Heaven stresses high productivity. LIZ -- So, all the sins I've ever committed are recorded on this tape. AMY -- In living color. When you get to the front of the line you just hand your tape to Saint Peter. LIZ -- Speaking of the line, why is the line moving so slowly? AMY -- Saint Peter plays your video tape all the way through before he decides if you belong in Heaven. I don't know about you, but my sins will play for about three days, and that's the edited version. LIZ -- Mine too. SUE -- (enters from front of the line carrying a tape eraser with a long cord) Elizabeth Johnson? Elizabeth Johnson? Is Elizabeth Johnson in line? LIZ -- Yes. I'm Elizabeth Johnson. SUE -- (approaches) I'm sorry, there's been a mistake. LIZ -- A mistake?! You mean I don't belong here? SUE -- That's right. I'm sorry. LIZ -- So, I'm really supposed to go to.... SUE -- May I have your video tape, please? LIZ -- (offers tape) Sure. What are you.... SUE -- (takes tape) According to our record, you entrusted your future into the hands of the Lord Jesus. (rubbing tape eraser over tape cartridge) LIZ -- What are you doing?! SUE -- As far as the Lord is concerned, your sins don't exist. I'm erasing your tape. There. (offers tape) LIZ -- (takes tape) So, that means I don't have to worry about going down to.... SUE -- You won't even have to stand in line. This line is for people who reject Jesus' on earth. (exits) You can bypass the line and go straight into Heaven. LIZ -- (follows) I can? AMY -- Hey, would you like to swap tapes? LIZ -- (exits) No thanks. AMY -- That one is smarter than she looks. ©2008 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: bob@bobsnook.org BACK |