BACK BUMZ 60*m*f Alternate pilot episode: bums do good in secret Summary: a high school newspaper uncovers secret society of bums INT NIGHT CLOSE-UP: SEWER (Bitsy and Punky, dressed in there pajamas, bathrobes and rubber boots, climb down the ladder, they whisper) BITSY It smells like a sewer down here! PUNKY Maybe that's because it IS a sewer. Keep going. BITSY Why do I have to go first? PUNKY Because you're soft and tender. The monster will think you're delicious. BITSY I wish you wouldn't talk like that. It's scarey down here. This was a really bad idea. PUNKY How else will you get the scoop for the newspaper? BITSY Big scoop. We're the only newspaper in school. PUNKY Our readers deserve to know the truth about the monster. BITSY (turns on tiny flashlight, begins walking) I wish you wouldn't talk like that! As reporters we must keep an open mind about our subject. There have been no confirmed sightings of monsters. PUNKY (turns on tiny flashlight, begins walking) How else do you explain the disappearance of all those orphans? BITSY There is another explanation, you know. PUNKY Yes, the owner of the orphanage cooked them and ate them! BITSY I wish you wouldn't talk like that! (turns, hides behind Punky) You go first! PUNKY (turns, faces Bitsy) You are such a baby! You know all of those stories were just made up to cover up what's really going on down here! BITSY What's really going on down here? PUNKY Well, one thing I'm sure of, it's not a little old lady who eats children and it's not a monster. BITSY Maybe it's one of the baby alligators that someone brought back from Florida and when it got too big, they flushed it down the toilet. PUNKY That's just an urban legend, just like the... (turns, gasps, she's nose to nose with a slimy monster) MONSTER (deep deep electronically modified voice) What are you doing down here?! Get out! BITSY & PUNKY (scream) EXT NIGHT WIDE: ABOVE SEWER (Bitsy and Punky scramble out of storm drain) BITSY Are you okay?! PUNKY That was a close one! BITSY I lost my flash light. PUNKY Me too. Let's go back down. BITSY Are you crazy?! Didn't you see that thing?! It was huge! PUNKY I don't think that thing was real. BITSY It looked real to me. PUNKY Come on, let's go. BITSY No way. I've got to go home. If my mom does a bed check, I'm grounded for life. (turns) PUNKY A good reporter has to take risks. BITSY (turns) I've taken all the risks I'm going to take. No thank you. PUNKY But we don't have our scoop yet. BITSY How about this headline, "We saw a monster in the sewer." PUNKY We saw an unconfirmed monster in the sewer. For all we know, that thing was just a Halloween prop to keep us from discovering what was REALLY going on down there. Come on. We'll catch them off guard. They won't expect us to come back after they scared us away. BITSY (exiting) No way. I'm going back to bed before I get grounded. PUNKY (stoops, looks into drain, exits) No way I'm going down there alone. INT MORNING WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OFFICE (All girls are dressed in green plaid pleated skirts and white blouses, some with green blazers. Camera sweeps room and ends up in front of a desk topped with a sign that says EDITOR. Alyssa is busy marking up a page with her red pencil. Bitsy and Punky approach carrying a printed page in eager expectation.) BITSY We've got a scoop for you, chief! PUNKY Hot off the presses! (drops page on top of Alyssa's work) ALYSSA (deep breath) I'm sure. Let's have a look. (picks up page, read briefly) What's with the by-line? By Lois Lane and Kit Kitridge?! PUNKY It's a nom de plume. BITSY That means we're using pen names. ALYSSA I know what it means. I've taken two years of French. "Monsters in the Sewer"?! No wonder you don't want anyone to know your real names! BITSY (to Punky) I told you she wouldn't like it. PUNKY She's just saying that to keep me in my place. She doesn't want her little sister to outshine her. ALYSSA Wrong. (holds up paper) I'm saying that because this paper is only suitable for the bottom of a bird cage. PUNKY How can you say that?! This is a real scoop! ALYSSA What five questions should every newspaper article answer? BITSY (pauses) Wait a minute. I know this one. ALYSSA I'll save you the trouble: who, what, where, when, and why. PUNKY I knew that. ALYSSA And how many of these questions did you answer in this article? (Bitsy and Punky bend and peruse the paper) Who? Answer: Two unnamed witnesses. What? Answer: some kind of monster. Where? Answer: in the sewer somewhere under the streets of the city. Why? Answer: to cover up some undisclosed illegal activity. When? Answer: none. PUNKY I wouldn't say none. ALYSSA Did you notice how many of these sentences end with question marks and how many end with periods? BITSY How many? ALYSSA More than half. That means you're asking more questions than you're answering. Do you know what kind of reporter asks more questions than he answers? BITSY What kind? ALYSSA An unemployed reporter. (hands paper back) PUNKY But this is a scoop! You won't see this story in city newspapers today! ALYSSA And you won't see it in mine either. Bring a news report that answers all five questions with facts instead of conjectures and I MIGHT print it. INT MORNING WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL SCIENCE CLASSROOM (dark except for a headband light on Deeanne, who is soldering wires inside of a small black box) PUNKY (enters, approaches) Deeanne? Oh, there you are. I've been looking all over the school for you. You know, you're not supposed to be in here without a teacher. DEEANNE (while soldering) That would mean that YOU are not supposed to be in here either. What do you want? PUNKY How would I set up a camera to take a picture automatically? DEEANNE You would set the camera on automatic. PUNKY You're not being very helpful. DEEANNE And you're interrupting my work. PUNKY Listen, I just want to set up a camera and leave it there and have it take a picture when someone or something goes by. DEEANNE You need a motion detector. PUNKY How do I get a camera like that? DEEANNE You can't. PUNKY But you could. You're a technogeek. You can do anything. DEEANNE Remind me again why I would even WANT to do anything like that. PUNKY Because you're a friend of my sister. DEEANNE Then have your sister ask me. PUNKY Come on! This is important. I've got a potential front page headline story for the school newspaper. It would probably be picked up by the wire services. DEEANNE Well, if it was that important, your sister would have already asked me to do it. And since she hasn't asked me, I figure your story was already rejected and you're trying to put lipstick on a pig. PUNKY No! I'm not. This is a real scoop! You've got to help me! DEEANNE Alright, tell me what you want to take a picture of, then MAYBE I'll hook you up. PUNKY Well, ah, uh... It's something down in the sewer. DEEANNE (looks up, alarmed) How do you know there's something down in the sewer?! PUNKY If I tell you, you've got to promise not to tell my sister. She'll tell my parents. DEEANNE (resumes soldering) In other words, you've already been down in the sewer yourself and you think you saw something. PUNKY Saw and heard. And I wasn't the only one. I had another reporter with me. DEEANNE What you probably ran into was a drug dealer or a smuggler who uses something scarey to scare away people from their illegal activity. PUNKY I thought of that too, but I think it has to do with that old lady from the orphanage who disappeared with the orphans. DEEANNE You could get yourself killed by going back down there. And I don't want that on my conscience. Find someone else to help you. Now get lost. I've got to finish this before the science teacher gets back. INT MORNING WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OFFICE (Alyssa hands a page to another student) ALYSSA Just make those changes and we'll run it. DEEANNE (enters frame, puts black box on desk, looks both ways) It was your sister and her little friend who were down in the sewer last night. ALYSSA Why, that little stinker! That explains why her article about monsters in the sewer was so vague! (points to black box) What's this? DEEANNE It's the amplifier from the monster puppet. The bums burned it out by cranking up the volume to loud. I fixed it. But tell them that, in an enclosed space like a sewer, they don't have to turn up the volume all the way to scare off people. VALERIE (enter opposite) You need to keep that thing out of sight. (opens drawer while looking both ways) The fewer questions you have to answer the better. Huh? (puts black box into drawer, closes it) ALYSSA Sorry, Aunt Valerie. VALERIE Is it fixed? DEEANNE All fixed. ALYSSA But we've got a problem. VALERIE How so? ALYSSA (looks both ways) The two cub reporters went down into the sewer last night. VALERIE That was them?! (both nod) ALYSSA According to the news story they submitted, they think the monster was there to protect Mrs Albright. VALERIE Your sister is smarter than I thought. DEEANNE Maybe we should make her a member? ALYSSA Definitely not. DEEANNE Why not? ALYSSA Her ego is bigger than all outdoors. Two hours after she finds out about Mrs Albright and the orphans, the entire school will know about them. VALERIE She's right. Until she matures, we'll just have to keep a step ahead of her. Oh, speaking of the orphans. One of them has a dental appointment this afternoon. Who's available sixth period? ALYSSA (opens middle desk drawer, reads, closes drawer) Brittany. I'll make sure she takes the amplifier. VALERIE Good. And when you get home, make sure your parents put the kibosh on your sister's adventures in the sewer. (Alyssa nods) EXT AFTERNOON WIDE: CITY STREETS (Brittany walks along sidewalk, then stops at alley entrance, looks in all directions, looks up to second floor across the street, tugs her right ear lobe. A bum on the second floor balcony tugs his right ear lobe, turns, and nods at the window, then turns to Brittany. Brittany looks into alley, tugs right ear lobe. A bum sitting near a door tugs his right ear lobe, then knocks three times, then two times on the door, then nods to Brittany. She turns toward the corner, tugs her right ear lobe. A bum standing next to a trash can, tugs his ear lobe, then pulls a newspaper from the trash and holds it in front of his face. Brittany turns and walks into the alley and stands near the top of a stair well that leads to the basement. She tugs her right ear lobe. A van drives into the alley and stops next to Brittany. The side door of the van opens. Brittany looks toward the bottom of the stairs. A door opens and a boy in a baseball uniform and sun glasses hurries up the stairs. A bum pokes his head out the door and nods to Brittany, who nods back. The door closes. Brittany and the boy climb into the back of the van and the van drives off.) (A short time later, the van comes to a stop near another alley. A bum comes out of the alley, looks all around, then tugs his right ear lobe. The van drives into the alley as the back door of an office building opens wide. A bum steps out and nods as the van comes to a stop. The van door opens and Brittany and the boy climb out and hurry through the door. The bum at the door holds up four fingers to the driver then steps in and closes the door.) (A short time later, a bell rings and the elevator doors open into the hallway of the building. Brittany steps out, looks both ways, then guides the boy down the hall to a door. She knocks twice. A woman in a white lab coat opens the door. Brittany and the boy step in and close the door behind them. Brittany removes the baseball hat revealing the long hair of a little girl.) NURSE Hello, Mary Margaret, how are you? MARY MARGARET Fine, thank you. NURSE We just have one little filling to do and then we'll just clean your teeth for a beautiful smile! (to Brittany as she takes Mary Margaret's hand) We'll be just under an hour. (points) You can sit there and do your homework while you're waiting. INT EVENING WIDE: ALYSSA'S DINING ROOM (Alyssa and Steve are seated at the table. Yolanda places two bowls in the center of the table) YOLANDA Would you like me to call Mrs Williams, sir? (exits) STEVE No, thank you, Yolanda. She already called. She's on her way. PATRICIA (enters) Sorry I'm late. The mayor has my whole department in a tizzy over the orphanage thing. (kisses Steve, sits) STEVE It's okay, you're not the last one here. PATRICIA Where is our little cub reporter? ALYSSA She's doing research on the internet. She's working a her big scoop. PUNKY (enters) Daddy, tell me all you know about the embezzling and tax fraud at the orphanage. (all others exchange amused looks) STEVE You're asking the wrong policeman, Punky. I work for robbery homicide division. PATRICIA Why are you interested in embezzlement and tax fraud? PUNKY I'm working on a scoop. (all others exchange amused looks) Speaking of robbery homicide division, have there been any murders in the sewers? (all others exchange amused looks) PATRICIA Is this another SCOOP you're working on? PUNKY Actually, I think all these cases are somehow related. STEVE I'm just dying to hear how embezzlement and tax evasion and murder in the sewers are connected. PUNKY Well, you know that woman, Mrs Albright, who owns that orphanage? PATRICIA Funny you should say that! I was just complaining about that! PUNKY About Mrs Albright? PATRICIA Yes, the mayor interrupted the routine of the entire Hall of Records trying to dig up dirt on the orphanage. STEVE Well, that should be easy. The fraud division has already uncovered an embezzlement charge and a tax fraud charge against Mrs Albright. PUNKY That's my scoop! ALYSSA It's a little late for a scoop, sis. The Tribune already had those stories on the front page. PUNKY What I mean is, Mrs Albright went into hiding to avoid prosecution. ALYSSA That was in the Tribune too. PUNKY But "I" know where she's hiding! (all others exchange amused looks) ALYSSA How could YOU know where she's hiding, when the police don't even know? PUNKY Because I am an ace reporter! ALYSSA (smiles) She signs her column LOIS LANE. PUNKY It's a nom de plume. All the good writers use a nom de plume. STEVE And where do you think Mrs Albright is hiding? (all eyes turn to Punky and pause) PUNKY In the sewer. (all others exchange amused looks, pause) She's hiding out in the sewer! Don't you get it?! PATRICIA Actually, no. STEVE Me either. Why would you think an old lady would be hiding in the sewer? ALYSSA (to Patricia and Steve) I rejected her story about the sewer this morning. (to Punky) Is that where you're going with this? PATRICIA Why did you reject her story? ALYSSA She asked more questions than she answered. That makes a conspiracy theory, not a news story. STEVE Where did you get the notion that Mrs Albright was hiding in the sewer? PUNKY I had witnesses. ALYSSA Unnamed witnesses. (looks out of the corner of her eye toward Yolanda who is hiding in the shadows, tugs her right ear lobe) Gee, I wonder who her witnesses were. (looks obviously at Yolanda, who is holding up Punky's bathrobe and pajama bottoms, which are stained with mud) PATRICIA (looks where Alyssa is looking) What's that stuff on Punky's robe and pajamas? PUNKY Where did you find those?! I hid them under my bed. STEVE What IS that stuff on Punky's robe and pajamas? ALYSSA Why, it looks like mud to me. What does it look like to you, Yolanda? YOLANDA It looks like mud but it smells like sewage. (exits) PATRICIA Punky?! You went down into the sewer... in your pajamas?! PUNKY Well, I... STEVE I have an even better question. Why were you talking about MURDER in the sewer? Did you see a dead body in the sewer? PATRICIA You didn't see Mrs Albright's body down there did you? PUNKY No! STEVE Who's body was it?! PUNKY I didn't see ANY bodies down there. I was just... I just... ALYSSA I think what LOIS LANE is trying to say is that what she and her friend, KIT KITRIDGE, saw in the sewer was a monster. STEVE A what?! ALYSSA That was my reaction too. Now you know why I rejected her... (makes quotes with her fingers) "scoop" this morning. PUNKY You're just jealous because it was my scoop and not yours! PATRICIA Tell us about the monster. I heard that people flushed baby alligators down their toilets and they grow into monsters. PUNKY That's what I thought. STEVE That's an urban myth. (to Punky) What exactly did you see down there? PUNKY It has these big eyes that glowed in the dark and big fangs. And it had this big deep voice... PATRICIA Wait a minute. You mean this monster spoke to you?! PUNKY Yes! ALYSSA (smiles) In Spanish, French or English? PUNKY In English. That's how I know it wasn't really a monster. Whoever was down there wanted to scare us away. PATRICIA So, there was no monster. PUNKY Not really. STEVE What about the dead body?! PUNKY I didn't see a dead body. But I was wondering what Mrs Albright did with those kids. PATRICIA You're grounded. PUNKY Mother! PATRICIA You're grounded for a month. No phone, no internet... PUNKY Mother, I need the internet for my research! ALYSSA She has a conspiracy theory to finish. PUNKY If you weren't my editor, I would bop you in the nose! PATRICIA Punky! PUNKY This is a real story, Mother! Mrs Albright is hiding in the sewer to avoid prosecution. I can prove it! PATRICIA No more trips to the sewer. If I hear even a hint that you went near the sewer, you'll be grounded until school is out! PUNKY Daddy! STEVE Don't DADDY me! I've heard of drug dealers and smugglers using the sewers to hide their stashes. You could get yourself killed by going down there! And if "I" catch you going down there, I'll take you over my knee! Understood?! PUNKY Understood. INT MORNING WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OFFICE (Alyssa is busy marking up a page with her red pencil as Punky walks by) PUNKY I hope you're happy. ALYSSA Huh? PUNKY You ruined the biggest scoop of the year, maybe of this decade. ALYSSA You're not thinking about dropping the story, are you? PUNKY Ha ha. Very Funny. ALYSSA I'm serious. You're onto a big story. It's just not what you think. PUNKY What do you mean? ALYSSA I mean, the story is not in the sewer. The story is in City Hall. PUNKY City Hall? What do you mean? ALYSSA I think that Mrs Albright was railroaded. PUNKY What does that mean? ALYSSA She was framed. The charges against her were trumped up. PUNKY Really?! ALYSSA Really. (offers a small slip of paper) Start here. PUNKY What's this? "Symphony Hall"? What does that mean? ALYSSA That's where you start your search on the internet. PUNKY What's this other thing? It's just alphabet soup. ALYSSA That's Mom's password on the computer network in the Hall of Records. PUNKY Alyssa! I could get it trouble for using this! ALYSSA Do you want a Pulitzer Prize or not? PUNKY (exiting) This could be my big break! VALERIE (enters opposite, speaks low) Did you get you-know-who off the trail of Mrs Albright? ALYSSA (nods) She's grounded for a month. VALERIE Good. That will keep her out of trouble. ALYSSA Even better than that, I've got her working on the story that will clear Mrs Albright's name. VALERIE But we're already working on that. ALYSSA Yes, but when the story breaks, our names will never be mentioned. VALERIE Clever girl! That's why I nominated you for membership! Speaking of Mrs Albright, she wants the orphans to go to the public library this afternoon. Can you work out the details? ALYSSA Sure. EXT AFTERNOON WIDE: CITY STREETS (Christin walks along sidewalk, then stops at alley entrance, looks in all directions, looks up to second floor across the street, tugs her right ear lobe. A bum on the second floor balcony tugs his right ear lobe, turns, and nods at the window, then turns to Christin. Christin looks into alley, tugs right ear lobe. A bum sitting near a door tugs his right ear lobe, then knocks three times, then two times on the door, then nods to Christin. She turns toward the corner, tugs her right ear lobe. A bum standing next to a trash can, tugs his ear lobe, then pulls a newspaper from the trash and holds it in front of his face. Christin turns and walks into the alley and stands near the top of a stair well that leads to the basement. She tugs her right ear lobe. A van drives into the alley and stops next to Christin. The side door of the van opens. Christin looks toward the bottom of the stairs. A door opens and six boys in baseball uniforms and sun glasses hurry up the stairs. A bum pokes his head out the door and nods to Christin, who nods back. Then goes back in and the door closes. Christin and the boys climb into the back of the van and the van drives off.) (A short time later, the van comes to a stop near another alley. A bum comes out of the alley, looks all around, then tugs his right ear lobe. The van drives into the alley as the back door of an office building opens wide. A bum steps out and nods as the van comes to a stop. The van door opens and Christin and the boys climb out and hurry through the door. The bum at the door holds up four fingers to the driver then closes the door.) (Inside, two bums dressed in hard hats and tool belts place barricades in front of the entrance to the library section labeled "Children's Books". They nod to each other, then one of them looks toward the ajar door at the end of the hall and tugs his right ear lobe. The door opens and Christin escorts the boys behind the barricades and out of sight into the stacks of books. Several of the boys remove their hats and sunglasses. Long hair falls down their backs as they disappear. The bums begin pounding aimlessly on the floor with their hammers as a woman and her son approach, see the signs, then turn and walk away.) INT MORNING WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OFFICE (Punky and Bitsy flank a movie screen as the other student reporters and Aunt Valerie are sitting on desks and chairs watching the presentation. Whenever Punky clicks her cricket noise-maker, something is added to the picture on the screen) BITSY Good morning. (points to Punky) This is my partner Lois Lane. PUNKY And this is my partner Kit Kitridge. BITSY We'd like to share with you what we have learned about the scandal surrounding the orphanage. PUNKY We would first like to thank Deeanne for her excellent computer generated diagrams. (click: lights dim, a diagram of what looks like the top view of a beverage six-pack appears) A smaller version of these diagrams will appear with this story when the story is picked up by the Tribune and the other news media. (Aunt Valerie and Alyssa exchange smiles) BITSY Here's what we know so far. (points to diagram) This is 2nd Avenue between 22nd Street and 23rd Street. This site was secretly chosen by the mayor as the site for the city's new concert hall. PUNKY Starting a year and a half ago, a company known as (click: "A & A" appears on the upper left compartment) A & A Properties bought this piece of land from the owner. BITSY Then another company known as (click: "B & B" appears on the lower left compartment) B & B Development bought this piece of land. PUNKY Then another company known as (click: "C & C" appears on the upper right compartment) C & C Construction bought this piece of land. BITSY Then another company known as (click: "D & D" appears on the lower right compartment) D & D Holdings bought this piece of land. PUNKY Then another company known as (click: "E & E" appears on the middle right compartment) E & E Limited bought this piece of land. BITSY Then finally, another company known as (click: "F & F" appears on the middle left compartment) F & F Investments offered to buy this last piece of land. PUNKY Can everybody see the pattern here? BITSY All of these companies are called shell companies. PUNKY These companies were created ONLY for the purpose of buying up the land in this block for the new concert hall. BITSY But the concert hall project came to a screeching halt when (click: ORPHANAGE overwrites in the middle left compartment) the owner of the orphanage wouldn't sell this piece of land. PUNKY Now, I'm sure that everybody in this room knows that the mayor is (points to Christin) Christin's dad. BITSY Christin, tell everybody what the concert hall means to the mayor. CHRISTIN My dad made a campaign promise to bring a world class symphony orchestra to this city. If Mrs Albright doesn't sell the orphanage, there won't be a concert hall. Without a concert hall there won't be a world class symphony orchestra in the city. My dad is already embarrassed that people found out that this was where the concert hall was being built BEFORE all the land was all bought up. And he's even more embarrassed that the deal might never happen. BRITANNY Why won't Mrs Albright sell the orphanage? PUNKY Two reasons: BITSY First of all, the orphanage was originally a mansion where the Albright family has lived since the late 1800's. Stanley Albright died leaving his wife Vera Albright without any children. All she has to remember him by is the mansion which is still as beautiful as the day it was built. PUNKY Second, Mrs Albright turned the mansion into an orphanage after Mr Albright died. And for some of the kids living there, it was the only home they've ever known. BRITANNY Why doesn't the city just sell off these other five lots and build the concert hall somewhere else? BITSY None of this land is owned by the city. BRITANNY It isn't? PUNKY All six of these companies are owned by a private company. BITSY And since all the buildings surrounding the orphanage were empty and broken down, the company bought them cheap. BOTH Real cheap. PUNKY And, because the mansion was a hundred years old, they thought they could buy it as cheaply as all the other buildings, then sell the whole block of land to the city for a huge profit. BITSY But without the orphanage, the concert hall project is dead. PUNKY And the company gets nothing. BITSY And neither does the city. CHRISTIN No wonder my dad was so upset. BRITANNY What does this all have to do with the scandal? DEEANNE Yeah, what about the embezzlement and the tax fraud? PUNKY We haven't been able to prove it yet, but we think the records at the Hall of Records were faked to make Mrs Albright look like a crook. BITSY After Stanley Albright died in 1981, Mrs Albright inherited all of the Albright companies. (click: A diagram of eight buildings inside circles appear on the screen with arrows pointing down to a picture of Mrs Albright.) PUNKY But she turned over the running of the companies to a management company... (click: a picture of an office tower replaces Mrs Albright's picture. An arrow points down to Mrs Albright's picture below.) BITSY so she could start her new orphanage. She set up as a non-profit organization to run the orphanage. (click: a picture of the mansion replaces the picture of Mrs Albright. Arrows point away from the mansion to pictures of Mrs Albright and five other people who appeared below the mansion.) PUNKY And so, Mrs Albright became just one of six employees working for the orphanage. BITSY Things went on like this for almost thirty years, then suddenly, just after Mrs Albright refused to sell the mansion to F & F Investments, the scandal started. PUNKY We still don't know how they pulled it off, but first someone hacked into the bank's computer system and transferred a million dollars... (click: a red arrow extends from the picture of the office tower to Mrs Albright's picture. Then a picture of a cloth bag with dollar signs on it appears next to the arrow.) ...from the bank into Mrs Albright's personal bank account. BITSY Making Mrs Albright look like a thief. PUNKY The next day, a guy from F & F Investments tells Mrs Albright that he'll make things right if she'll sell the mansion to him. BITSY Of course, Mrs Albright refused. She thought he was bluffing. PUNKY The next day somebody hacked into the state tax database and deleted the non-profit tax exemption of the orphanage. BITSY The day after that the guy from F & F Investments returned to tell Mrs Albright that she owed millions of dollars in back taxes on the mansion. PUNKY But... he could make all her problems go away IF she would merely sell him the mansion. BITSY Mrs Albright told him to take a hike. PUNKY The next day, the state cops showed up at the mansion to collect the back taxes. The city cops showed up at the same time to arrest Mrs Albright for theft. And Children's Services showed up to haul away the orphans. BITSY But Mrs Albright and the orphans had mysteriously disappeared! (click: lights up) PUNKY (pauses) None of you look surprised. MICHAELA How did you know all that stuff about the computers? BITSY We were surprised that Mrs Albright is actually innocent. Aren't any of you surprised? MICHAELA In order to find out about that computer stuff you would either have to be a cop or you would have had to hack into those computers yourself. PUNKY Oh, ah, I, ah... (looks toward Deeanne) MICHAELA Deeanne? (Deeanne forces a smile) ALYSSA My mom is the director of the Hall of Records. MICHAELA Oh. Alright. ALYSSA Okay, listen up. The reason for this meeting is to get you all up to date on this situation. Lois Lane and Kit Kitridge, here, have a real scoop, but we can't print it until we find out who's behind these six companies that bought all this land. If we find who's behind these companies, then we find who's framing Mrs Albright. MICHAELA What does this have to do with me? I write the fashion news and the gossip column. BRITANNY Yeah, this doesn't really concern me either. I write the sports news. ALYSSA The girls who go to this school come from the elite families from all over the city. All I'm asking for you to do is to keep your ears open. Listen to what your families are saying and listen to what the other girls are saying. If you hear something -- anything -- about land or deals or fraud or anything like that, tell these two girls and they'll follow it up. CHRISTIN Do you think this scoop will get my dad in trouble? ALYSSA (pauses) I doubt it. It sounds like the mayor just put his trust in someone who isn't trustworthy. Snoop around. See if you can find out who he was talking to around the time those companies started buying up those buildings around the orphanage. INT AFTERNOON WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OFFICE (The office is empty except for Alyssa and Punky. They have their backs to each other. Both are working on computers. Alyssa pushes away from her desk, turns to pickup a soft drink) ALYSSA You're still here. PUNKY (continues to poke keyboard and mouse) Such a brilliant deduction. You could be the editor of the school newspaper some day. ALYSSA I always work late. What are you doing here? PUNKY Thanks to you and Yolanda, I now have no access to the internet at home. ALYSSA You don't know that I had anything to do with that. PUNKY I saw that thing you did with your ear lobe. You and Yolanda have been plotting against me for years. ALYSSA Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. (turns, resumes work) PUNKY Oh, this can't be good! ALYSSA What's that? PUNKY I'm looking through the recent records at the hall of records and I found this application for a demolition permit. ALYSSA And why should I care about that? PUNKY The application was dated yesterday and the permit was issued today. ALYSSA I still don't see the problem. PUNKY All these other permits took weeks or months to approve and issue the permit. This is the only demolition permit this month that was approved in one day. ALYSSA So, maybe it was a friend of the mayor. Mom says the mayor has been pressuring the hall of records lately. Maybe that's what she was talking about. Anyway, why should anyone care about how long it takes to tear down a building? PUNKY The address is 2252 2nd Avenue. Does that sound familiar? ALYSSA (straightens) 2252 2nd Avenue? PUNKY Yes. ALYSSA (turns) That's the address of the orphanage! PUNKY That's what I thought. ALYSSA Mrs Albright hasn't sold the mansion! They can't tear it down if they don't own it! (stands, approaches, bend) Who does it say requested the permit? PUNKY (points to screen) Vera Albright. ALYSSA That can't be right! PUNKY That's what I thought. ALYSSA First of all, she's in hiding. How could she apply for any kind of permit if she's in hiding? PUNKY And she would never tear down her own mansion. She wouldn't even sell it. ALYSSA (grabs her back pack, exits) Tell Mom and Dad I might be home a little late for dinner. EXT EVENING OVER THE SHOULDER: CITY STREETS (Camera follows Punky as she stealthily trails Alyssa through the city streets, occasionally ducking into doorways to avoid discovery. Alyssa is observed from afar approaching and talking to a bum sitting on the sidewalk against a light pole. The bum, who wears a distinctive red plaid jacket and green baseball hat, nods, jumps to his feet, says something, Alyssa nods, both turn in opposite directions. Punky ducks into a doorway until Alyssa passes by, then follows until she goes into a television station. Punky follows her in, but loses the trail, making just two wrong turns before she sees Alyssa returning. She ducks into a bathroom until Alyssa passes by. Deep breath.) EXT EVENING WIDE: ALYSSA'S DINING ROOM (All but Alyssa are seated. Alyssa enters whispering to Yolanda, then Yolanda exits) ALYSSA Sorry I'm late. I had some... newspaper business to do. PUNKY Mom, how long does it take to get a demolition permit approved? PATRICIA Why on earth would you care about such a thing? ALYSSA (stern look) Punky, let's talk about something else, okay? STEVE Actually, I'm kind of intrigued about why a school girl would even know that a demolition permit is even required to tear down a building. Punky? PUNKY (eyes as big as saucers) Oh, um, ah, Alyssa, maybe you could tell them. ALYSSA (eyes as big as saucers) Me?! (takes a large bite of food, chews slowly, holding up a finger) PATRICIA Alright, you two. What are you up to? ALYSSA (chews, points to mouth, smiles) PATRICIA Punky, you were the one who brought up the topic of demolition permits, why don't you enlighten us? (jabs a fork full of food, attempts to stuff it in her mouth) STEVE (grabs Punky's wrist, restrains her) Tell us NOW! PUNKY Alyssa, you are so busted. ALYSSA (full mouth) Me?! STEVE Now! PUNKY Mrs Albright got a demolition permit to tear down the orphanage. PATRICIA No she didn't. If she had, I would have seen it. The mayor ordered us to flag any transaction with Mrs Albright's name on it. It's part of the investigation. Wait a minute. How would you even know about a demolition permit -- ANY demolition permit?! PUNKY (points to Alyssa) She made me do it. ALYSSA (chokes, swallows, drinks) Mother, that is just not true. YOLANDA (enters, tugs ear, smiles, exits) PUNKY (points toward Yolanda) There it is again. That's the signal. I told you! STEVE Signal? What signal? If I didn't know better, I would think our children are on drugs. What is going on here?! YOLANDA (reenters) I'm sorry to disrupt your dinner. But I think the answers to your questions are on the television. (exits) (The family follows Yolanda to the television, the television picture expands to full size of screen, the picture shows the bum with the red plaid jacket and green baseball hat in handcuffs being seated in the back seat of a squad car. Then the camera turns to the reporter) REPORTER According to police, this homeless man was arrested after he disabled all of the demolition vehicles that were scheduled to tear down the palatial home of Vera Albright, the controversial philanthropist who was recently accused of embezzlement and tax fraud. According to the homeless man, who refused to give his name, the demolition permit was illegally obtained. He claims that he was merely delaying the start of demolition which was schedule to begin early tomorrow morning. PATRICIA Punky Williams! How did you know about this demolition permit when I didn't even know about it? PUNKY (opens mouth to speak, but is interrupted by the ringing of the phone) YOLANDA (picks up phone) Williams' residence. (to Patricia) It's for you. (mouths the word mayor) PATRICIA (deep breath) It's going to be a long night. (takes phone) Yes, Mr Mayor. (pause) I knew you would call because I just saw the incident on the news, same as you. (pause, rolls eyes) No, I don't know how a woman who is in hiding could request a demolition permit. But I'm quite sure the permit was a fake. (pause) No, I'm not trying to make you look bad, Mr Mayor. I voted for you. (pause) The important thing is that this poor widow's orphanage WASN'T demolished... (looks to Punky) though I'm not sure who blew the whistle or how they found out. (pauses, looks to Punky) My suspicion is that at least two people hacked into the computers at the hall of records and at least one of those people faked or changed one of the demolition permits. (pause) I'm on my way there right now. I'll work all night on this if I have to. (pause) I'll have a full report on your desk first thing in the morning, Mr Mayor. (holds phone away from ear, hangs up, points finger at Punky's nose, then at Alyssa's nose, then turns to Yolanda, opens mouth, then turns to Steve) You're an investigator. Investigate! (grabs purse, stomps out, slams door) PUNKY We are so busted! ALYSSA We?! If you hadn't opened your big mouth.... STEVE Hey! ALYSSA Sorry, Daddy. PUNKY Sorry, Daddy. STEVE I don't want to hear another word out of either one of you for the rest of the night. Not one word. Now you go finish your dinner and then go straight to your rooms. I will talk to each of you individually when I get back. PUNKY Where are you going? ALYSSA Didn't he just tell you "Not one more word"? STEVE Hey! ALYSSA Sorry, Daddy. PUNKY Sorry, Daddy. STEVE I have to go down to the precinct for a while. But I want answers when I get back. (points to girls) Until then, what are your orders? (both girls pantamime zipping their lips) INT NIGHT WIDE: ALYSSA'S ROOM (Alyssa is lying face down on the bed, reading. Steve enters, closes the door) ALYSSA I didn't say another word, Daddy, I swear. STEVE (sits) How much do you know about the bums? ALYSSA (sits up, eyes as wide as saucers) What do you mean? STEVE Do you know any bums besides Yolanda and my sister? ALYSSA I... I... I'm not supposed to... How did you know? STEVE I'm a bum. ALYSSA You are?! STEVE Yes. I trust that you will keep it to yourself. ALYSSA I... I had no idea! STEVE That's the way it was designed. Everything on a need to know basis. ALYSSA How did you... When did you... ALYSSA I nominated Yolanda and Aunt Valerie to help me meet the needs of Mrs Albright and the orphans. Aunt Valerie nominated you and your friends at the newspaper. ALYSSA What about Mom? STEVE I'm going to have to nominate her. She is now in a position to be a big help to the bums. You know that bum with the green hat and the red jacket? ALYSSA The one who was just arrested? STEVE He was the one who nominated me. So, how much do you know about the bums? ALYSSA Just that we do good deeds without getting any of the credit for them. You know, like the motto says, "Don't let the right hand..." BOTH "know what the left hand is doing." ALYSSA Yes. It's from the Bible. It's the way Jesus said to do good deeds. But other than that, I don't know much about the bums, because we're not supposed to ask questions or give anybody else a reason to ask questions. I assume the bums were started by bums. STEVE (laughs) Actually, the very first bum was Stanley Albright. ALYSSA Mrs Albright's husband?! (Steve nods, looks toward door, holds finger to lips) ALYSSA (whispers) But he was a millionaire! (dissolves to flashbacks) EXT DAYTIME WIDE: BROWN-TONE TENT CITY (Many people sitting around Tents and makeshift shelters, as young Stanley, formally attired, approaches with an armful of unwrapped loaves of bread) STEVE (voiceover) Stanley Albright started the bums during the great depression, in the days before welfare and public assistance. In those days, men would rather go hungry than take charity from another man. (Stanley offers a loaf of bread to a dejected looking, shabbily dress man. At first, he smiles, and reaches, but pulls back, drops his head and flicks the back of his hand at Stanley. Same scene repeats twice more. Dissolves.) So, Stanley decided it would be better for him to become a bum in order to help the bums. (A shabbily dress Stanley slides a rack of bread loaves from the back of a bakery truck, then signals the driver to drive off, then he shakes the rack to randomize the loaves, runs down the row of tents) STANLEY Hey, look what fell off the back of a truck! (Stanley is soon surrounded by people who each take a loaf) STEVE (voiceover) As the great depression grew worse and worse, Stanley cut back his business hours so he could spend more time helping the homeless. He soon recruited other millionaires to do the same. (A shabbily dress Stanley slides a rack of bread loaves from the back of a bakery truck, then he shakes the rack to randomize the loaves, then he hands the rack to another bum who runs down the row of tents, repeating the scene for several bums, before he signals the driver to drive off. Dissolves.) INT NIGHT WIDE: ALYSSA'S ROOM (scene resumes in bedroom) STEVE The rule for each new bum was the same then as it is for you today. BOTH (voiceover) "Don't let the right hand know what the left hand is doing." ALYSSA Daddy, are you saying that some of those bums on the street might be millionaires? STEVE The other rule is... BOTH "Don't ask questions." ALYSSA Sorry, Daddy. STEVE It's okay, sweety. The reason we don't ask questions is real clear after a night like tonight. If someone found out that the bum who was arrested tonight was a millionaire, his company's reputation would be ruined and so would be his ability to do good deeds. ALYSSA You mean that bum was a millionaire? (Steve smiles and raises his eye brows) Don't ask questions. Okay. By the way, when you just went down to the precinct did you get him out of jail? (Steve smiles and raises his eye brows) Don't ask questions. Okay. STEVE There's a reason why we don't ask questions: The less you know, the less you have to lie about. ALYSSA I understand. But how did the bums end up living down in the sewers? I know. Don't ask questions. STEVE Actually, I need to answer that. You'll need to know that sooner or later. Stanley albright needed to keep his identity and his home a secret. So, he used the sewers to get to and from his mansion. He hired some trusted friends to build hidden doors in the basements of several buildings throughout the city leading to the sewers. Those entrances are how Mrs Albright and the orphans escaped when the cops went to arrest her. ALYSSA But why did she take the orphans with her? STEVE Mrs Albright is the closest thing to a mother those little girls have ever known. She's also their teacher. She continued to teach them after they went into hiding. ALYSSA Am I allowed to ask if they live in the sewer? STEVE Nobody actually lives down there. They just use the sewer to hide their comings and goings. Next time you see the bum with the green hat and the red jacket, ask him where the entrances are. (stands) By the way, you and Punky are doing an excellent job of investigating the orphanage scandal. If it wasn't for you two, the Albright mansion would have been a pile of rubble tomorrow morning. ALYSSA Are we busted? STEVE (sighs) I'll talk it over with your mother. On the one hand, your intensions were pure. On the other hand, using your mother's password to access the computers could have gotten her fired. So, I wouldn't make any social plans for this weekend. (turns) ALYSSA Daddy? STEVE (turns) Huh? ALYSSA What about Punky? STEVE Same thing. ALYSSA No. I mean, are you going to... nominate her? STEVE You are about as young as we can go. Punky is too young to keep a secret. But you need to keep an eye on her. She's suspicious. (tugs on own ear lobe) And you and Yolanda need to be a little more subtle. INT AFTERNOON WIDE: PRIVATE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OFFICE (Alyssa is alone, working at her computer) VALERIE (enters, crosses to Alyssa's desk, looks both ways) Sorry to bother you so late, but Mrs Albright has a rather unusual request. Can you handle it? ALYSSA Sure. What's up? VALERIE The weatherman forecasted a cold front moving through the area tonight and Mrs Albright and the orphans are worried about the homeless people in Riverside Park. I've already arranged to have a bunch of blankets picked up from the Salvation Army. ALYSSA You want me to deliver the blankets to the park? VALERIE I wish it was that simple. Mrs Albright wants to teach the orphans about Christian charity. She wants the orphans themselves to hand out the blankets to the homeless people. ALYSSA Their faces are on wanted posters! What if someone sees them? VALERIE You'll have to wait until after dark. The bums tell me that the cops don't patrol that park after dark. ALYSSA Well, if you think it's alright. VALERIE You don't have to worry about your safety. The bums will be at the park to protect you and the orphans. ALYSSA The driver knows where to take us? VALERIE (nods) Just be careful coming and going. That incident with the demolition equipment shows that the enemy is getting desperate. EXT NIGHT WIDE: CITY STREETS (Alyssa walks along sidewalk, then stops at alley entrance, looks in all directions, looks up to second floor across the street, tugs her right ear lobe. A bum on the second floor balcony tugs his right ear lobe, turns, and nods at the window, then turns to Alyssa. Alyssa looks into alley, tugs right ear lobe. A bum sitting near a door tugs his right ear lobe, then knocks three times, then two times on the door, then nods to Alyssa. She turns toward the corner, tugs her right ear lobe. A bum standing next to a trash can, tugs his ear lobe, then pulls a newspaper from the trash and holds it in front of his face. Alyssa turns and walks into the alley and stands near the top of a stair well that leads to the basement. She tugs her right ear lobe. A van drives into the alley and stops next to Alyssa. The side door of the van opens. Alyssa looks toward the bottom of the stairs. A door opens and six boys in baseball hats, sun glasses and overcoats hurry up the stairs. A bum pokes his head out the door and nods to Alyssa, who nods back. The door closes. Alyssa and the boys climb into the back of the van and the van drives off.) EXT NIGHT WIDE: RIVERSIDE PARK (The van drives by the sign marked "Riverside Park", then comes to a stop. Alyssa and six girls without hats hop out. Alyssa gives each one two blankets as the bums come out of the shadows. Each girl, accompanied by a bum, heads off in all directions to distribute the blankets. In twelve camera shots, the girls either give a blanket to a shivering man, woman or child, or they cover a sleeping person. Then all the girls converge on the van from all directions. They hop into the van and the van exits the park) EXT NIGHT WIDE: CITY STREETS (The van drives into the alley and stops next to the stair well. The side door of the van opens. Alyssa steps out and looks toward the bottom of the stairs, then both ways up and down the alley. She nods at the van and puts her fingers to her lips. The girls, now wearing baseball hats and sun glasses, exit the van. The van drives off as Alyssa leads the girls down the stairs. She knocks three times on the door. Then two more times. The door opens and the boys walk through. The door slams shut and two girls inside scream. Alyssa pulls at the door knob and knocks but the door is locked. She pounds the door.) ALYSSA (loud whisper) What's going on in there?! (she listens at the door. Hearing nothing, she digs in her pocket for a flashlight. She shines it at the door knob again. Still locked. She looks on the ground around the door for a key. She raises her fist to pound again, but the flashlight reveals an envelope with the words: "SELL THE MANSION OR THE KIDS DIE".) ALYSSA Sell the mansion or the kids die! (gasps) INT EVENING WIDE: ALYSSA'S DINING ROOM (Steve and Patricia sit at the table examining the envelope and the note inside. Alyssa paces the floor sobbing and wringing her hands) ALYSSA I'm sorry, Daddy. I tried to be careful. I thought I was careful. This is all my fault. STEVE Lissy, you need to keep your voice down. Punky will hear you. PUNKY (enters) What am I not supposed to hear? (heads tilt, eyes avoid each other, long pause) Well? STEVE The orphans were kidnapped. PUNKY Really?! Did they leave a ransom note? (heads tilt, eyes avoid each other, long pause) This has to do with the orphanage, doesn't it. This jerk wants Mrs Albright to sell the mansion, huh. (heads tilt, eyes avoid each other, long pause) PATRICIA Um, yeah. That's it exactly. How does she know so much? PUNKY I'm an investigative reporter. I'm about to print my scoop! So, when do we close in for the big arrest?! (heads tilt, eyes avoid each other, long pause) STEVE We don't know who this guy is. There's probably more than one. PUNKY Say, wait a minute. You work for robbery-homicide. Why are you handling a case of kidnap and ransom? And where are the rest of the cops? (heads tilt, eyes avoid each other, long pause) STEVE We just got the ransom note. We haven't notified the police yet. PUNKY Why not? STEVE The ransom note tells us not to. PUNKY It's probably a good idea not to. PATRICIA Why do you say that? PUNKY If these guys are smart enough to hack into the Hall of Records and the state tax records, they might have somebody on the inside at the police department. PATRICIA How does she know so much about this case? ALYSSA I assigned her and Bitsy Jacobson to the story of the orphanage scandal. PUNKY I say "Find the computer hacker and you'll find the kidnapper". PATRICIA I just found out about the hacking of the state tax records this afternoon. How... PUNKY (fakes a yawn, exiting) I'm a little tired. I think I'll go to bed early. PATRICIA Punky, you get your butt over here. PUNKY (reverses course) Please don't be mad. Daddy already grounded me. ALYSSA Yeah, Daddy already told you that punky used your password. PATRICIA Yes, but my password only gets her into the CITY records. How did she.... (to Punky) How did you hack into the STATE records? PUNKY I promised I wouldn't tell. PATRICIA Let's say that you're grounded until the day you graduate. PUNKY (quickly) It was Deeanne! STEVE That was easy. ALYSSA See why we don't trust her? PUNKY Trust her... with what? ALYSSA (crosses to phone) Nevermind. PATRICIA Who are you calling? ALYSSA (poking keypad) Deeanne. She's a technogeek. But she's not good enough to break into the state computers by herself. (to phone) Hi. This is Alyssa. May I speak to Deeanne. (Door Bell rings, Punky runs to door) She is? That must be her now. Thanks. (hangs up. Deeanne enters) DEEANNE I think someone at my dad's company may have had something to do with the orphanage scandal. STEVE Why do you say that? DEEANNE My dad's company does data encryption and computer security. PATRICIA Say that in English. DEEANNE He knows how to hack computer networks. STEVE So, you know about the kidnapping? DEEANNE Someone was kidnapped?! ALYSSA The... STEVE (holds hand in front of Alyssa) If you didn't know about the kidnapping, why did you come over here tonight? DEEANNE I got to thinking about the news story that Lois Lane and Kit Kitridge are working on. PUNKY That's me and Bitsy. STEVE (holds hand in front of Punky) Continue. DEEANNE There's only a handful of companies in the whole country that have the software to hack a government computer network. And Daddy's is one of them. So, I looked at the phone and email records in and out of Daddy's business. PATRICIA What did you find? DEEANNE Nothing. STEVE Can you just get to the bottom line?! DEEANNE My dad fired one of his engineers a few weeks ago. PATRICIA So you think this engineer did all this? STEVE Not possible. PATRICIA Why not? STEVE These land deals for the property around the orphanage cost millions of dollars. An engineer doesn't have that much money. An engineer without a job has no money. (to Deeanne) Keep going. DEEANNE After this guy was fired, his phone records showed several phone calls to the Albright Foundation. PUNKY That's the foundation that runs the orphanage. I had that in my presentation. ALYSSA So, the foundation supplies the money and the engineer engineers a way to force Mrs Albright out of the orphanage. PATRICIA That doesn't sound right. Why would the Albright Foundation sell the orphanage to themselves? STEVE Maybe they didn't. Maybe someone inside the foundation is using the money from the trust to make a huge personal profit from the land deal. ALYSSA They borrow the money from the trust company, they buy up the land for the concert hall, they sell the land to the city at a big profit, then they put the borrowed money back into the trust company. PUNKY And they walk away with millions of dollars in profits in their pockets! What a scoop! I'll be famous! PATRICIA Punky! PUNKY Okay, Lois Lane AND Kit Kitridge will be famous. PATRICIA Punky! PUNKY Oh. (pantamimes the zipping of her lips) DEEANNE You said somebody got kidnapped. Who got kidnapped?! STEVE All of the orphans. DEEANNE All of them? ALYSSA It was my fault. I... STEVE Lissy, now is not the time to point fingers. PATRICIA We only have until midnight tonight to have Mrs Albright sign over the deed to the orphanage and exchange it for the orphans. STEVE Problem is, we don't know which members of the trust company are involved in this. If we turn over the deed to the mansion, the perp could complete the deal with the city. Then, after he puts the money back into the trust, the deal looks perfectly legal. ALYSSA (goes to the phone) We need to have an emergency meeting of the... (looks to Punky, then to Steve, then to Deeanne, tilts head) ...of the school newspaper staff. PUNKY (exiting) I'll get my coat. (all the others look at each other's eyes, shake heads) PATRICIA Where do you think you're going, young lady? PUNKY (turns) To the newspaper staff meeting. PATRICIA You're grounded. Indefinitely. PUNKY But, Mom! This is my big scoop! (Patricia tilts head, sends eye messages to Alyssa) ALYSSA I tell you what, Punky. I'll give you the by-line no matter who writes the end of the story. How's that? PUNKY Cool! (exits) EXT NIGHT OVER-THE-SHOULDER: CITY STREETS (Camera follows Alyssa down the street until she sees a bum sitting on the sidewalk near a bus bench. He nods. She sits briefly, then slides a small slip of paper toward the bum. Then she stands and walks away. The bum looks both ways, then takes and reads the paper. It reads, "RANSOM: ALLEY #A2 MIDNIGHT". Alyssa stops at the corner and looks back. The bum tugs his right ear lobe. Alyssa tugs her right ear lobe as she disappears around the corner) (Camera follows Deeanne down the street until she sees a bum sitting in a doorway. He nods. She drops a small slip of paper as she walks by. The bum looks both ways before he picks up and reads the paper. It reads, "RANSOM: ALLEY #A2 MIDNIGHT". Deeanne stops and looks into a store window, then looks back. The bum tugs his right ear lobe. Deeanne tugs her right ear lobe then continues down the street.) (Camera follows Christin down the street until she sees a bum leaning against a building. He nods. She nods.) BUM (holds out hand) Hey, I haven't eaten in two days. You got any loose change? CHRISTIN Sure. Here. (Christin presses the note in his hand) (Camera follows Britanny as she gets on a bus. She sits across the aisle from a bum. When she leaves one block later, there's a note on her seat. She tugs her ear lobe as she exits the bus) (Camera follows Michaela as she walks by a bum and enters a store, asks for change for a dollar, exits the store. On her way out, the bum holds up the note with his left hand, tugs his ear lobe with his right.) EXT NIGHT WIDE: THE ALLEY (Camera follows a van as it turns into the alley. Camera redirects toward a bum coming out of the shadows of a doorway nearby.) BUM (opens cell phone, puts it to ear) The eagle has landed. The eagle has landed. (He opens the door. Mrs Albright steps out, takes a deep breath) You alright, Mrs Albright? Do you need more time? VERA No, I'll be fine. BUM You know what to do? VERA Let's do this. BUM (to Phone) Ransom is a go. Ransom is a go. (nods to Mrs Albright, disappears into the building) VERA (Steps into the alley, shouts) I'm here. Where are the children? TRUSTEE (steps out from behind van into the light, shouts) Did you talk to the cops? VERA No. You said no cops. So, I kept them out of it. TRUSTEE Did you bring the deed to the mansion? VERA (holds paper high) Yes. Here it is. Show me the children. TRUSTEE Did you sign the deed? VERA Yes. But you don't get the deed until I get the children. TRUSTEE (opens the door of the van) Alright, you little rug rats, out. (Children exit, some sniveling, followed by Engineer. They line up the kids in front of the van, flank them.) (shouts) There. You see the children. Now I see the deed. VERA (approaches slowly with paper extended) Children, are you alright? CHILDREN (in unison) Yes, Mrs Albright. VERA Children, this will all be over in just a minute. (points to her signature, louder) I signed the deed. It's free and clear. (When Mrs Albright draws near to Trustee, he reaches out his hand. A bum on the roof above, jerks a rod and reel. The paper in Mrs Albright's hand mysteriously floats up and out of reach. At the same time several bums and students on the roofs above drop hundreds of identical documents into the alley below. The affect looks like snow from the alley below) TRUSTEE (reaching) What the.... (jumps) What in the world is going on here?! (picks up one of the copies) I got it! (carries it over to the light source) No signature! So that's the game you're playing, huh, lady? Just remember you're not getting your kids back until I get the deed with the signature. (scoops up more copies, holds them up to the light) No signature. Albert, help me find the deed with the signature! ENGINEER (scoops up copies) We agreed not to use our real names, remember? I'm Mr Green and your Mr Blue, remember? (brings them under the light) TRUSTEE (scoops up more copies) Yeah, yeah, yeah, just find the deed with the signature. (holds them up to the light one at a time) No signature, no signature, no signature. Just remember, Mrs Albright, you don't get the kids back until I find the deed with the signature. No signature. No signature, no signature, no signature. (scoops up more copies) Did you hear me, Mrs Albright? I said you don't get the kids back until.... (looks up, Mrs Albright has disappeared) Albert, where did she go?! ENGINEER No signature. (drops copies, scoops up more copies) Mr Blue, did you have a question for Mr Green? TRUSTEE You idiot, I asked you where she went! (drops copies, scoops up more copies) ENGINEER (drops copies, scoops up more copies) You don't have to get offensive, Mr Blue. I don't know where Mrs Albright went. I'm not in charge of Mrs Albright. We agreed that I'm in charge of the rug rats, remember? TRUSTEE (drops copies, gasps) The rug rats! (turns and sees that the kids are gone too) You idiot! They're gone! The kids are gone! ENGINEER (drops copies, scoops up more copies) Good riddance! I hate kids anyway. You don't have to get offensive, Mr Blue. TRUSTEE You idiot! Mrs Albright got the kids back and we got nothing! ENGINEER (drops copies, scoops up more copies) I'm not even going to talk to you if you use that tone of voice with me. TRUSTEE Did you hear what I said?! I said Mrs Albright got the kids back and we got nothing! ENGINEER (looks both ways, shrugs shoulders, drops copies, scoops up more copies) Well, we know the deed with the signature is here somewhere. TRUSTEE (drops copies, scoops up more copies) Yes, but it could take us all night to find it. ENGINEER (drops copies, scoops up more copies) Yeah, well, I've got plenty of time. I got fired, remember? TRUSTEE (examining papers) Now I know why. ENGINEER (examining papers) Was that a wise crack?! TRUSTEE I'm just saying, now that Mrs Albright got the kids back, she might call the pol.... (red and blue lights flash and headlights flood their faces) BOTH Oh oh! INT MORNING WIDE: ALYSSA'S DINING ROOM (All but Punky are seated at the table, Punky enters) PUNKY Good morning, everybody. How did it go last night? ALYSSA (pushes a newspaper toward Punky) It's in the morning paper. Read for yourself. PUNKY (reads) "Local Orphanage owner cleared of all charges." What happened to the kidnappers? ALYSSA It's on page two. (Punky unfolds paper) Wait. Read the by-line first. PUNKY (gasps) By Lois Lane and Kit Kitridge! You mean the Tribune ran our story?! ALYSSA I added a couple paragraphs on the end about what happened last night. But, yeah, the rest of it is YOUR scoop. PUNKY (stands, raises hands) My big scoop! (sits, reads) Wait a minute. I don't see YOUR name in the by-line. Why didn't you put your name there too? ALYSSA I'm just the editor. You're the reporter. Besides, if I put my name on it, people will ask me questions. (smiles at Mom and Dad) EXT MORNING WIDE: SIDEWALK OUTSIDE ALYSSA'S HOUSE (Alyssa and Punky come out of front door and down the stairs. Bitsy enters frame as Punky reaches sidewalk, they continue down the sidewalk. Alyssa turns the opposite way.) BITSY (broad smile) Good Morning, Lois Lane. PUNKY (broad smile) Good Morning, Kit Kitridge. ALYSSA (Stops, turns, points over shoulder) School is this direction. Where are you going? (Bitsy and Punky stop and turn) PUNKY We're going after our next big scoop. BITSY And this one could win us a Pulitzer Prize. ALYSSA What big scoop? PUNKY We're going to cover the story that nobody is talking about. ALYSSA And just what is the story that nobody is talking about? PUNKY Who was protecting Mrs Albright and the orphans while she was in hiding? BITSY We think it was the homeless guys. ALYSSA The homeless guys? Good luck with that. (turns, walks, eyes widen) DEEANNE (enters frame, walks along side) Good morning, chief. ALYSSA We've got problems. DEEANNE What do you mean? ALYSSA Lois Lane and Kit Kitridge are investigating the bums. DEEANNE They are?! Why? ALYSSA They think the bums were protecting Mrs Albright and the orphans while they were in hiding. (Camera zooms out and elevates, as the girls pass beneath) DEEANNE Wow! How are we going to cover this up? ALYSSA You round up the newspaper staff. I'll warn the other bums. ©2010 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: bob@bobsnook.org BACK |