BACK CHEEK 5'?m5f Christian witness: turn the other cheek (scene: three chairs side-by-side or park bench) AMY -- (enters with bag lunch, sits on one end of bench, savors the outdoor air, opens lunch, gives thanks, begins eating) (three children enter, play tag briefly, exit past Liz as she enters) LIZ -- (enters with bag lunch, fuming) I think I know why postal employees shoot their bosses. (sits) If I had an M-16 right now, somebody would be dead! AMY -- Yes, it is a lovely day today, isn't it? And how are you? LIZ -- I'm sorry, but Baxter did it to me again. AMY -- Did what again? LIZ -- I've told you how she makes jokes in the meetings about my ideas, then three weeks later, my ideas end up in a memo over HER signature. AMY -- She did it to you again? LIZ -- This time she wasn't even subtle about it. I submitted a proposal in writing for a joint project with accounting. And do you know what she did? AMY -- I'm not sure I want to know. LIZ -- She had her secretary retype it with her own signature. She didn't even change to wording. Can you imagine the gall?! AMY -- Nobody ever said life was fair. (three children reenter) KID1 -- I'm thirsty. KID2 -- Race you to the drinking fountain. KID3 -- Last one to get a drink is a rotten egg. (all run toward podium as if it were a drinking fountain, Kid1 arrives first, begins drinking, Kid3 arrives last, pushes his way to front of line) KID3 -- I'm next. KID2 -- Hey, that's not fair. I was here first. KID3 -- Tough tea cup, runt. I'm bigger than you. Want to fight about it? (all drink and exit as Liz and Amy continue) LIZ -- See what I mean? AMY -- See what? LIZ -- That kid just pushed his way to the front of the line. AMY -- Oh, that. LIZ -- And he'll get away with it too. If you're big and powerful, you get to step on everybody else. AMY -- I'm sure glad this is not all there is. LIZ -- You talking about Heaven? AMY -- Yes. It's the only place that life will be fair. LIZ -- Yes, but we're not in Heaven now. We're on earth. And big people step on little people all the time. I can't just sit by and let Baxter get away with stepping all over me. I've got to do something. Anything. AMY -- I hope you're not thinking about taking revenge. LIZ -- Sure. Why not? How about if I write a nasty-gram to Singleton. AMY -- The vice-president? LIZ -- Yes. I'll call him every dirty name in the books, then sign Baxter's name. AMY -- You just accused Baxter of being dishonest. You can't be thinking seriously about sinking to her level. LIZ -- She really ticks me off. She has no idea who she's dealing with. Maybe I'll put superglue on her chair. Maybe I'll load a virus into her computer and erase her hard disk. AMY -- Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. LIZ -- Maybe I'll put sugar in her gas tank. I wish I could get into her house, so I could short-sheet her bed. AMY -- You're not listening to a thing I say, are you? LIZ -- Maybe I could pay some high school kids to toilet paper her house. Too bad her home phone number is unlisted, or I would call her and tell her what I think of her, then hang up when she asks who it is. AMY -- Oh, that would be a good Christian witness. LIZ -- Well, I can't just sit still and let her walk all over me, can I? (three children reenter) KID1 -- I'm thirsty. KID2 -- Race you to the drinking fountain. KID3 -- Last one to get a drink is a rotten egg. (all run toward podium as if it were a drinking fountain, Kid1 arrives first, begins drinking, Kid3 arrives last) KID2 -- (turns) Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek". You can have my place in line again. (motions) KID3 -- You one of those CHRISTIANS? KID2 -- Sure. Jesus said, "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first". So go ahead. KID3 -- No thanks, I'm not thirsty. You go ahead. (kid2 drinks) KID3 -- Say, my Mom has been looking for a church for us to go to. What church do you go to? (all exit speaking silently) AMY -- I don't know about you, but I've never seen an M-16 do that. LIZ -- I feel so ashamed. Here I am a Christian and I'm acting like I've never been to church. (stands, moves to exit) I've got to get back to the office. AMY -- What's your hurry? You haven't finished your lunch yet. LIZ -- I wrote a new proposal this morning. I WAS going to submit it directly to Singleton, so Baxter couldn't get her grubby little hands on it. But, I think now I'm going to ask Baxter if she wants me to submit it with her signature. AMY -- (follows) Turning the other cheek, are we? LIZ -- Mere child's play. (they laugh and exit together) �2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |