BACK PARTY 5'?m3f Small group Bible study, fellowship, standards (hard-thumping music beats in background) AMY -- (enters wearing party dress, faces audience, pastes on smile, poses) LIZ -- (enters opposite wearing party dress, faces audience, pastes on smile, poses) AMY -- Fashionably late? LIZ -- I wanted to make my entrance so all the guys would notice me. AMY -- I tried that too. But it didn't work for me either. LIZ -- Have you been here long? AMY -- No. I just got here. LIZ -- What are they waiting for?! Why aren't they asking us to dance? AMY -- Maybe it's my dress. Maybe this dress sends the wrong message. LIZ -- There's nothing wrong with your dress. AMY -- Yours either. LIZ -- We are hot. AMY -- Yes we are. LIZ -- I pity the poor fool who passes up this opportunity. AMY -- Poor fool. LIZ -- Come on, fellas, ask a girl to dance. Anybody? LIZ -- Be careful what you ask for. What are you going to do if some dweeb comes up and asks you to dance? AMY -- So far that hasn't been a problem. LIZ -- Well, once one of the handsome hunks breaks the ice, they'll all be standing in line to dance with us. Problem is, the dweebs will get in line with the hunks. How do you brush off the dweebs without hurting their feelings? AMY -- How about if we don't brush them off? How about if we tell them we promised this dance to someone else who's in the restroom? LIZ -- Clever. I like it. AMY -- Now that we have that taken care of, I suppose we ought to decide which of the hottie hunks gets to dance with us first. LIZ -- Good idea. Limited resources. Maximize your return on investment. AMY -- Exactly. I think we should save the first dances for the guys with the nicest cars. LIZ -- That is really shallow. I think we should save the first dances for the guys with the biggest muscles. AMY -- Speaking of shallow. LIZ -- Well, if you're such a bastion of wisdom, YOU decide who we should dance with first. AMY -- I think we should screen them first. LIZ -- SCREEN them? AMY -- Yes, I think we should interview them briefly and eliminate the empty-heads. LIZ -- I don't know. Some of those empty heads are pretty hot looking. AMY -- Well, at least we should determine if they did well in school... any post graduate schooling... which law firm they work for... LIZ -- LAW school? AMY -- Or medical school. LIZ -- So, we've eliminated the guys without post-graduate degrees? AMY -- Look, there's a limited number of dances before the place closes. In order to maximize our time with the hunks, we've got to have standards. You've got to think about life AFTER the dance. LIZ -- So, a lawyer with lots of muscles is not out of the question? AMY -- Or a doctor with a really nice car. LIZ -- Have you noticed that noone is asking us to dance? AMY -- It's all I think about. LIZ -- Okay. I'll settle for a lawyer without muscles. AMY -- Or a doctor who drives a Volkswagon. LIZ -- As long as it's a late model Volkswagon. AMY -- Actually, right now, I'd settle for a doctor who drives an junker. LIZ -- On the other hand, we don't necessarily have to stick to doctors and lawyers. You know engineers are not so bad. AMY -- You're right. Even technicians are much more palatable since the DOT COM craze. LIZ -- You know, right now, even an accountant would be acceptable. AMY -- As long as he had a degree. LIZ -- On the other hand, is a degree all that important? AMY -- Actually, I'm sure there are a fair number of non-degreed bookkeepers and technicians with muscles. LIZ -- On the other hand, are muscles all that important? AMY -- You know, maybe this notion of a screening interview might be a little too ambitious. LIZ -- Right now, I'd settle for a dweeb. AMY -- Me too. LIZ -- Do you think it would be beneath us to ask one of them to dance? (points, freezes) AMY -- Any port in a storm. How about that one? (points, freezes) SUE -- (enters) And now for today's quiz. Is this dramatization an advertisement for: A. a dating service B. an underarm deodorant C. a tooth whitening product D. small group Bible studies If you said "D. small group Bible studies" you were correct. In small group Bible studies, you get social interaction WITHOUT lowering your standards. (exits) LIZ -- Say, I have an idea! How about a small group Bible study? (exits) AMY -- (follows) Good idea. �2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |